Join the queens of Season 6 — Natalie Lamb, Jamie Smith, Hanan Merabi, Tedrah Paul, Shawnti Refuge, and Kimberly Christian — as they bring the 12th Street Talk Backs season to a grand finale!Find their contact information below:
Natalie Lamb: www.natalielamb.meItsyourchoice
Tedrah Paul: stan.store/lifecoachtedrahpaul@heavenlysisterscircle
Hanan Merabi: thelegacyisme.com@earthangels.org
Kimberly Christian: @kimberlychristianlcswThe Christian Method
Shawnti Refuge: @shawntirefugejournals
Jamie Smith: jamiesnotebook.com
[00:00:22] Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome back to 12th Street Talk Back where transparency is our language.
[00:00:32] I am your host, Victoria J. Come on in guys, come on in, kick back, relax and kick it with your girl on this beautiful, beautiful Friday that God has decided to bless us in.
[00:00:48] This is part 2 of the Queens table talk. I really enjoyed these beautiful ladies starting with Natalie Lamb,
[00:00:58] Annan Meribie, Jamie Smith, Tedra All, Shanti Refuge and Kimberly Christian. Guys, I hope you enjoy part 2 of this beautiful conversation with these Queens.
[00:01:17] If you missed part 1, I don't know if it's Spotify, Apple, Amazon, GoodPots or any of your listening platforms to listen to part 1.
[00:01:28] Or you guys can head on over to our 12th Street Talk Back YouTube media channel and you can watch the full 2 hour interview with these beautiful Queens.
[00:01:42] Once again, ladies, thank you, thank you so much for joining the Queens table.
[00:01:50] Enjoy.
[00:02:11] Great answer.
[00:02:13] You said something about invest that type of time and you had to be the only one to get your own seat at the table full of nonprofit organizations.
[00:02:29] Someone said that to me and it was so funny as you said that my daughter, my baby girl said that to me when I started this podcast.
[00:02:36] She said, Mom, you'll know that there's something that you want to do if you make more than six podcasts.
[00:02:42] Most people that start podcasts don't last past six episodes because they don't have the fortitude when they don't have any listeners.
[00:02:50] When they keep popping out episode and they're the only one that's listened to their own self talk.
[00:02:55] So almost three years and I'm like, you know what, I got a fortitude at something.
[00:03:01] How about you, Natalie, because I know you've got your practice and you also an author.
[00:03:07] How do you feel about giving advice to some of our young kings and queens about being self starters because they aren't go getters and start in a business in this day and time because social media can help them brand anything.
[00:03:21] I agree with what you ladies have already said.
[00:03:24] I do think that we need is where you focus at first like, what is your passion? What is your hope? What are you willing to rest? What are you willing to give up?
[00:03:36] You know, sometimes we see people starting businesses or in business, I should say, and you think it's going to be an instant success.
[00:03:44] And most people don't have instant success. That's not generally what you get out of it. It is grind. It is sticking with it. It is resilient to this fortitude.
[00:03:55] It is believing in yourself, right? Believing in what you're offering and saying what I'm offering may it may be 50 other people offering the same thing but nobody can offer it the way I offer it and is holding on to that right.
[00:04:08] You're uniqueness, your voice, your passion, your gift and you have to believe in it first.
[00:04:14] And you know, as I remember when I first started my business and I started after my mother passed away as just something to ground me to have something that was mine, right?
[00:04:26] Because after I lost her, I felt very lost but, you know, and I've worked my job as well. I think that you have to be willing to finance yourself.
[00:04:35] I think this idea that we jump in and we're supposed to come from pennies and it's supposed to grow into a million is unrealistic.
[00:04:43] And I think we have to have realistic expectations as we move because when you're unrealistic, I mean, make sure you give up quicker that when you're realistic, like this is going to cost me.
[00:04:56] What else can I do on the side with it? You know, when am I willing to give up?
[00:05:01] I've had my business for 17 years but I worked is the first not having a nine to five in the past like two months that I have left my nine to five.
[00:05:11] But it took me a long time to get here and many different circumstances.
[00:05:17] But, you know, you have to know that you're going to give up way more than what you get out of it in the beginning.
[00:05:23] And you got to be willing to lose to gain, right? You got to be willing to put everything you have into it and nobody believes and nobody's supporting you.
[00:05:33] If nobody's backing you as you said, Victoria, you just the only person listening to yourself like you have to step in there and say I know I have a voice.
[00:05:42] I have something to offer.
[00:05:44] And the only other thing that I will add is write your own definition of what success is and change it as you move.
[00:05:51] What your first success is going to be different from what it looks like five years from now, right?
[00:05:56] So you have to be able to pivot and move and change your definition of what success is and re get a different perspective on what failure is.
[00:06:07] Because I think that we see failure as such a negative and failure can just be something for you to spring for it on one.
[00:06:14] We're going to fail. We're going to mess up. We're going to miss the mark.
[00:06:17] We're going to have to pivot and say that didn't work well, but this can't work. And it's really you deciding how do I keep pivoting as I meet barriers as I'm not getting where I want to go.
[00:06:29] Is it me right since I'm the constant in this relationship with myself and my business.
[00:06:34] And then if it's not been how do I change it and how do I keep getting what I want.
[00:06:40] And you got to know that you not giving up is your success so many times that you kept, you know, fighting through that you kept going yourself at the table, even with nobody wanted you to be there.
[00:06:56] Table because you know you have something to offer and get back. So yeah, start the business but started realistically and keep your feet on the ground as you're moving through it so that you don't give up too fast.
[00:07:12] Amen. Amen. I think a couple of you guys mentioned the seat at the table. That's even when I started this podcast, I was so busy trying to network and someone told me stop fighting for a seat at the table and make your own table.
[00:07:26] And I thought about that I do sit at the King's table the King. So I can make my own table and that's what I started fighting I started fighting and clawing my way for my business and God's business not trying to sit at someone else's table.
[00:07:40] I know we were talking previously when we got this together. Any of you ladies, first of all, I'm so grateful for your time. If you do have to click off because I know it was some time barriers here. You're more than welcome to have to click off and I want to thank you in advance.
[00:07:57] If you do have to sneak off because I've only got three questions out and we're already our answer. I just wanted to put that out there first.
[00:08:05] Tedra, how do you feel about the business or did I already get to you my mind is more.
[00:08:11] You did I'm the one who started.
[00:08:14] All right, so we'll end it with Kimberly, Kimberly the brilliant Kimberly that came into the room.
[00:08:20] How do you feel in this day and age first, I'll let you answer all three of them in one about being a woman in this in this day and time to if any barriers or anything that you can leave behind for young women being a woman to any barriers that you think in the educational system that we can break down and the third one is would you
[00:08:44] advise any of our young people to start a business in this day and time right now.
[00:08:50] Well, I'm going to ask you for some accountability to keep me on track there since it's all three in one nobody else had to do that but that's the price I pay.
[00:08:59] I'll start with the last one because that's where you guys were answering and there's not really very much to add to that. I mean honestly just hit the nail on the head in fact what I was thinking as you ladies were speaking is how much I benefit from your answers.
[00:09:13] That is so encouraging and so validating to hear you ladies say what goes through my mind a lot during the high moments during the low moments during the.
[00:09:25] Oh my goodness am I the only one listening to what I just posted moments right, and I just think that we've never we never run out of an opportunity to hear that.
[00:09:37] Right don't you guys just have moments where you just wish someone whisper that in your ear again.
[00:09:42] I think about many, many people that have gone before us doing different things different time periods different generations where they were told no like hundreds of times and it was like that 100th and one time or something worked.
[00:09:58] And someone said, Wow, you got something there sister.
[00:10:02] They're like, Oh my gosh I've been doing this for all this time but there there's something that I this is the only thing I can say to that because like I said you guys just said it so beautifully I felt like that was just like spoon fed to me.
[00:10:14] I heard somebody say this recently that there's a lot of people, you know, in where I know we're all probably in very different fields but very similar situations and that we have something unique to offer.
[00:10:27] And I remember one of you ladies said that you have something to offer that no one can quite offer just like you. I love that I think that is so awesome.
[00:10:35] And that we do a lot of, you know, convincing to other people that this, you know, this is something that we can offer that no one else can offer quite like me do and the discouragement is that very thing like in that answer is, but other people are doing this.
[00:10:50] Right. But think about what you guys talked about already where you try something for a couple of months and the minute your met with some sort of discourage that you start kind of like backing off or at least the temptation is to back off and think, Oh well that didn't work.
[00:11:03] You know I guess this is a flop.
[00:11:05] But it's really in the stamina that makes us stand out as who will are you willing to pay the price.
[00:11:12] And that's that's a phrase I keep hearing through my head a lot is, are you willing to pay the price.
[00:11:18] And I know that I am right and all of you ladies are you're willing to pay the price whether it's sleep whether it's time with your family or your friends or it's money or it's a number of different things, but that's what really separates us from people that would try something
[00:11:33] and then just immediately say, I can't do this because their self talk is such of I don't have what it takes.
[00:11:42] It's like everybody in this room just from the little bit of time that I've spent with you you probably don't deal with that kind of self talk.
[00:11:50] Maybe you were blessed with like what I say all the time I am. I've been blessed with not having this this bully in my brain.
[00:11:57] I don't have this voice. I'm always trying to talk down God just absolutely gave me some amazing favor in myself talk where I just, I don't have to deal with that and I'm glad because I serve people that do.
[00:12:10] That's my entire job is helping them to get their thoughts aligned.
[00:12:15] But anyway, it just kind of comes back to you know paying the price. And I know that eventually those things really do pay off and we get those wins and we start seeing that people are saying the very bit of feedback that we've been craving like oh this really
[00:12:30] This changed me. This made me see myself the way God does you know whatever it is that you're passionate about.
[00:12:36] I think he does give us those nuggets every now and then that just kind of keep us on the path like, you're doing this you did hear me right this is exactly what you're supposed to be doing.
[00:12:45] And that kind of leads to one of your other questions, which is what would I say to people
[00:12:51] like starting a business right now?
[00:12:53] And I would say, like all of you have already said, my story is kind of a unique and funny
[00:13:01] one in that it was not my idea.
[00:13:03] This was not something that I thought was going to be a brilliant idea.
[00:13:08] This isn't a way like a second career even though I'm doing the same thing.
[00:13:11] I'm in the same package of being a therapist.
[00:13:13] I did not want to take on more at all.
[00:13:18] But there was a word that God spoke to my life decades, literally decades ago before I was
[00:13:23] even a therapist and he just prophesied to me something big was going to happen that he
[00:13:29] was going to allow me to be a part of.
[00:13:32] And I just kept hanging onto that word year after year as my life changed, my family
[00:13:38] changed.
[00:13:39] It just so happened that this is his timing.
[00:13:41] And so I can't take any credit for that at all.
[00:13:44] Like, I know it seems kind of strange to some people to be taking on a second career or a
[00:13:49] second path at my age, at my stage in my, just the longevity of my career and all those
[00:13:58] things.
[00:13:58] But I can't argue with God's timing.
[00:14:00] This is when he decided to open all the doors for me and it's very obvious.
[00:14:04] So I just went with it.
[00:14:06] And I just remind myself like he's the God of the impossible.
[00:14:09] Maybe this is all part of the story is that other people are going to say, why would you do
[00:14:13] that?
[00:14:14] And I just say, look, there's no other way to explain this.
[00:14:17] This is him being glorified through this because this was not my idea.
[00:14:22] This didn't make any sense to me to do this right now.
[00:14:24] And at the same time, this signed to homeschool my children.
[00:14:29] You know, all those things at the same time are kind of like, why would you do
[00:14:32] that?
[00:14:33] Oh, wow.
[00:14:34] Yeah.
[00:14:35] So you just, you see, you just knocked them out all three.
[00:14:41] And then segue into our next question because the next thing I was going to ask
[00:14:46] you guys is as women of faith, Christian women, all of us up here are women of
[00:14:51] faith.
[00:14:52] How does mental health, because most of you guys are in the mental health field
[00:14:57] in some way?
[00:14:58] How does mental health impact your families?
[00:15:02] And I'll start with you, Tedra.
[00:15:08] The floor is yours.
[00:15:10] Thank you.
[00:15:12] I am literally going to answer this question and I'm going to jump off
[00:15:17] and take the kids home because we're still at my in laws.
[00:15:22] But you know what?
[00:15:24] Mental health is one of the most growing
[00:15:30] things in this world right now.
[00:15:32] Like for me and my family, it is so important because we have seen it and
[00:15:38] we have seen how it can really impact your life and how if you don't
[00:15:44] overcome certain situations, certain barriers, boundaries, it can
[00:15:50] really affect the rest of your life.
[00:15:53] From such young ages, a lot of us go through things and especially
[00:15:59] with our generation, we have got like strong willed parents.
[00:16:05] Let's say we have parents that are very like this, this, this, this.
[00:16:11] They're very firm and there's no emotions.
[00:16:14] There is no, you know, sharing of how you're feeling.
[00:16:19] And you just have to get on with it.
[00:16:22] And I think in our household, in our house, in our house, we really,
[00:16:27] really try and make sure like our kids communicate with us how they're feeling.
[00:16:32] Our kids tell us when things are going right, when things are going wrong.
[00:16:36] And then if we have done something, we will then also stand up and say, OK,
[00:16:41] I'm sorry I got it wrong, but this is why I thought this, this, this.
[00:16:46] Oh, I'm just sorry I got it wrong first off.
[00:16:48] I think the key right now in this day and age is to break the
[00:16:53] generational trauma.
[00:16:55] A lot of people suffer and a lot of people think it's OK
[00:17:02] because it happened to them.
[00:17:04] It's OK if they do it to the next person, it's OK if their child does it
[00:17:09] and then they do it to their grandkids and then this and then that.
[00:17:12] But it's not OK.
[00:17:14] Like we all know it's not OK.
[00:17:16] That's not the way that people should be treated.
[00:17:19] That's not the way you should treat your family members.
[00:17:22] And the way that you're treating them is really going to have an impact on
[00:17:28] them when they when they get older.
[00:17:30] It affects their relationships with other people.
[00:17:32] It affects how they're going to be at work.
[00:17:34] It affects their mood when they see a specific thing because sometimes
[00:17:39] that trauma can be from a glass of water and then from then
[00:17:44] they just cannot deal with that anymore.
[00:17:47] And so for us in our house, it's really important that we bring up
[00:17:52] our kids in the way that we believe because we also might get it wrong.
[00:17:58] So it would be for us to bring them up in the way that we believe
[00:18:02] that God would want us to bring them up.
[00:18:05] And we also have to pray about them,
[00:18:08] pray about how we can help our kids and the things that we can do
[00:18:12] to help them overcome certain situations because let's have to remember
[00:18:16] that there's some things that we can't help them with.
[00:18:19] So we always have to take it to God as much as we want to.
[00:18:24] There's not there's a lot that we can't do ourselves.
[00:18:30] So we have to have faith and really have hope that God will take over
[00:18:34] in certain situations and that the person in our life or the
[00:18:40] or the children in our lives, they will grow and they can overcome
[00:18:44] all those, you know, the trauma and everything that they've been through
[00:18:48] from a young age because I think for our future kids.
[00:18:52] What we don't want is for the future to be so
[00:18:57] traumatized that we don't have a president or we don't have a king
[00:19:00] or we don't have all these people because they're so stuck in their emotions.
[00:19:04] They don't know how to run the country.
[00:19:07] So we want to be able to grow
[00:19:10] these little humans to be then to be our future kings
[00:19:15] and to actually help this world be a better place.
[00:19:21] Well said, my queen.
[00:19:24] Well said. Thank you so much for coming on to the show.
[00:19:28] I see that you have your hands full and you guys, she makes great, great content.
[00:19:34] If you're not following her on Instagram, it looks so professionally done.
[00:19:38] I was like, I need to hire her.
[00:19:41] Thank you. But everything that she just said,
[00:19:45] just having a conversation with her, that is truly how she does
[00:19:49] feel about everything that she goes at.
[00:19:53] She's a wonderful person.
[00:19:54] I thank you, Tadra, for joining the show.
[00:19:57] I know it's late over there where you're at.
[00:19:59] So just for you, Poppin and thank you so much
[00:20:01] and blessings and overflow to you.
[00:20:04] Is there anything that you want to leave behind for us?
[00:20:07] A link to a website or upcoming an event
[00:20:12] because I'm going to have all the ladies just whatever they're doing right now
[00:20:15] to go ahead and get a shot out there.
[00:20:19] Yes, I will actually send you a link to my mentorship group.
[00:20:26] I launched my mentorship called Have any Sister Circle
[00:20:32] and it is a space where women can come and we can praise God, worship,
[00:20:39] have Bible study, have discussions like we're having now
[00:20:43] and see where it is that God wants us to go
[00:20:47] and what it is to do in our lives.
[00:20:51] Like I was saying, like I really want to help women overcome
[00:20:55] their barriers and overcome all of the trauma that they've been through.
[00:21:02] And I didn't want them to do it alone.
[00:21:04] The key thing is to have a community behind you
[00:21:07] that supports you through this journey because like I always say,
[00:21:11] like I think many people say this, but I am number one saying
[00:21:14] Jesus did not walk his walk alone.
[00:21:17] How can we expect to walk on our own?
[00:21:21] We can't. We need people to support us and to question us when we think,
[00:21:26] you know, something is wrong or something is right
[00:21:28] and to help us really take a next step forward in our lives.
[00:21:33] So I will send out with the link to Have any Sisters
[00:21:39] and yeah, I'd love to connect with all of you again
[00:21:43] and just see where God is taking us in this life.
[00:21:47] That's right. That's right.
[00:21:49] We are going to be generational connectors.
[00:21:53] Yes, thank you so much, Tara.
[00:21:55] Dr. And I will forward the link on to the ladies.
[00:21:57] If you want to before you leave, you can drop it if you can drop it down
[00:22:01] in my private chat and then I'll forward it over to the ladies.
[00:22:04] Thank you so much.
[00:22:06] Get home safe.
[00:22:08] Thank you guys. Have a lovely day for you guys, I think.
[00:22:12] Yes.
[00:22:13] Hi, you too.
[00:22:16] Bye bye. Thank you.
[00:22:17] You're up next, Jamie, because I know that time was an issue for you too.
[00:22:22] And you can answer that question for us before you leave out today.
[00:22:26] Sure. Could you repeat the question?
[00:22:28] I just want to make sure I'm.
[00:22:30] It was the question was as a Christian woman of faith.
[00:22:35] And your family at this day and age.
[00:22:39] OK, um, that's what that's what I thought I remembered.
[00:22:42] And I apologize.
[00:22:44] First of all, if there is a lot of background noise on my end,
[00:22:46] started storming very heavily here.
[00:22:48] So that's why I'm kind of wavering a little bit.
[00:22:51] But mental health, I think it's so important and I and I'm glad that
[00:22:56] the church as a whole as a body is starting to recognize that need.
[00:23:01] I think that in the faith community, it's very complicated
[00:23:05] because a lot of us grew up with being told that if you have
[00:23:08] a mental health issue, that it's because of your son.
[00:23:12] And because you have trauma, not because you have things
[00:23:15] that you need to overcome, which could also include being told
[00:23:18] that your mental health is a sin.
[00:23:21] I think that God made his body bind in spirit.
[00:23:24] And so when one part gets sick, it affects all of it.
[00:23:30] And so that's something that I've definitely lived with in my life.
[00:23:33] And I was taught to be ashamed of that.
[00:23:36] But I live with multiple mental health diagnoses
[00:23:39] disease that I am getting treatment for.
[00:23:42] And I just think that as a person of faith,
[00:23:46] I'm grateful to God that he created a science that he created us
[00:23:52] to be curious enough to create to find mental health help.
[00:23:57] If that makes sense to have the therapeutic, you know,
[00:24:03] the different therapeutic ideas, Kimberly, I think even
[00:24:06] faith based CBT, you know, that's
[00:24:10] a very practice.
[00:24:14] And I think that my faith and my health journey,
[00:24:19] whether it's mental or physical, I think they go hand in hand.
[00:24:22] And I'd love to see more of that in recognizing
[00:24:25] Trump and healing generational hurts and generational trauma
[00:24:31] and do it from a biblical perspective.
[00:24:36] Well said. How about you, Hanan?
[00:24:42] So we all have mental health and I come from a medical background.
[00:24:46] So I'm a nurse, been a nurse for 17 years.
[00:24:50] We all have mental health.
[00:24:51] You know, everybody does.
[00:24:54] And it's so wonderful that it's getting the voice
[00:24:56] that it does now in 2024.
[00:24:59] You know, mental health is being spoken about more than ever,
[00:25:02] at least in my life tonight.
[00:25:04] And so that's wonderful.
[00:25:05] But the thing what has helped me is that I have prayed every day
[00:25:10] since I was a little girl.
[00:25:11] I pray all day long, I talk to God all day long.
[00:25:14] That's how I've self-mothered.
[00:25:16] That's how I've gotten through whatever it is, whatever obstacle.
[00:25:20] If I have a big project, a big deliverable deadline.
[00:25:24] If I'm about to be on stage in front of people that I think are,
[00:25:29] you know, idols or really important people, it's prayer.
[00:25:33] And it's
[00:25:35] that sort of meditation space that I can go to in my mind
[00:25:39] that has gotten me through the hardest times.
[00:25:43] I think that what I have noticed as I've gotten older
[00:25:47] is that mental health, anxiety
[00:25:50] and I would say predominantly anxiety gets worse as you age.
[00:25:55] And I think that I know a lot of people over 40
[00:25:57] who are a feather away from, you know, losing whatever,
[00:26:05] you know, to just having sort of panic attacks
[00:26:11] anxiety ridden.
[00:26:13] I know a lot of people who went through a lot, but were fine.
[00:26:18] You know, handled it OK as they were younger.
[00:26:20] And now that they're older, they're a feather away from losing the plot.
[00:26:24] Hate to say that saying, but it's true.
[00:26:28] And so I think that it fascinates me how as we get older,
[00:26:32] if we're not careful and if we are not mindful of this
[00:26:37] and very easily cross to the other side, where we're scared to leave the house.
[00:26:44] How many people you know who are scared to leave the house
[00:26:46] who don't want to go to places anymore?
[00:26:48] People want to sit in their bed and be on their phone all night long.
[00:26:51] A lot of people slowly become like hermit like, you know, they want to go to work,
[00:26:56] go to the even the groceries are delivered or if you are not careful,
[00:27:00] you can very quickly cross over from having a little anxiety
[00:27:05] to be anxiety ridden, not wanting to leave the house and being scared of everything.
[00:27:10] I have seen that as I have joined the fourth floor in my forties.
[00:27:15] So I will say that for me what's helped me even when I felt close to that
[00:27:20] those more anxious moments, scared even I've had to walk myself back.
[00:27:25] And prayer has been a big part of that.
[00:27:28] And also reminding myself of where I come from and what I have done.
[00:27:32] You know, in the words of Maya Angelou, I come as one but not alone.
[00:27:37] And so reminding myself of all that I've done and all that I've accomplished
[00:27:42] that this is not going to break you now.
[00:27:44] And then this is not going to be what causes you an anxiety attack.
[00:27:49] This is not the thing, you know, you have you have sailed to a difficult sea.
[00:27:54] So it's constant self mothering and prayer that has helped me sail the seas.
[00:28:02] But one of my favorite African proverbs is that smooth seas don't build the skilled sailors.
[00:28:10] And I tell this to all the young people I know, including my children,
[00:28:14] that I know it's rough right now.
[00:28:16] I know it is, but you will get through it and you'll be on the other side stronger, no more, etc.
[00:28:23] So that's what's helped me.
[00:28:24] And that's the advice I give to folks out there because I see it all the time.
[00:28:29] Mental health is has become a crisis.
[00:28:32] It's an epidemic.
[00:28:33] Like I said, I'm in the medical field.
[00:28:35] You wouldn't believe the crisis calls we hear every single day.
[00:28:40] And so it's amazing what the human touch, human kindness,
[00:28:45] getting back down to the basics of love and compassion, empathy.
[00:28:51] That's that's the game changer.
[00:28:54] Natalie Lam, for one, because I just love to hear your perspective on this.
[00:29:01] We talked in detail about this.
[00:29:06] Well, I mean, I think mental health is everything I agree with you, and everyone has mental health.
[00:29:12] I think that we have to find our mental wellness within our health.
[00:29:18] And I think we don't often and we talk about from the beginning right up until adulthood.
[00:29:27] I think so much has been missed in being able to give our children good mental health
[00:29:32] of teaching them how the mind works, how to build safety, how to self regulate,
[00:29:38] how to do these different things that are required for us to get to
[00:29:43] a good health when we become adults.
[00:29:46] Of course, our parents were very different in how they approach mental health.
[00:29:53] We did not talk about it.
[00:29:54] It was something that was really just a thing that you figured it out as you moved on, right?
[00:30:01] Like, pick yourself up by your bootstraps.
[00:30:04] Everybody got to deal with difficulties.
[00:30:06] You just keep pushing through.
[00:30:08] You intersect God with that.
[00:30:10] Then God becomes more of a crutch than your savior.
[00:30:14] And God becomes more of spiritual bypass and really dealing with the grit of what's going on.
[00:30:21] And I think that mental health and in God, you know, meet each other right there in the middle.
[00:30:27] I think that when we are able to be real in our experience, right?
[00:30:32] To really travail with God through everything we go through,
[00:30:36] we see him in a different aspect.
[00:30:38] I think we give our kids that.
[00:30:40] I think we give our children the ability to say life is hard.
[00:30:44] Not in comparison to my life, but just in your little world,
[00:30:48] because your little world is the only world you have.
[00:30:50] So those five years matter and those 10 years matter, right?
[00:30:54] And at 15, that's all the life you have.
[00:30:56] It does not need to be compared to my adult life and what I've been through.
[00:31:00] But right now I can validate where you are.
[00:31:03] I can guide you through it.
[00:31:04] I can give you the tools, right?
[00:31:06] In order to move and pivot and learn those different things.
[00:31:10] I think, you know, probably most of us weren't given that as children.
[00:31:14] But now that we're here and we see it from a different perspective,
[00:31:19] we can have them something we never had.
[00:31:22] We talk sometimes about the generational aspect of trauma
[00:31:27] and in some church roles they call the generational curses.
[00:31:31] But the truth of it is that it's just choices.
[00:31:35] It is us choosing different roles.
[00:31:37] It is us choosing different ways to learn how to deal with anxiety,
[00:31:42] to honor the fact that we do get anxious as people when we don't know,
[00:31:47] when we feel unsafe, when we're scared, when we're facing something.
[00:31:51] Anxiety in and of itself is not the problem.
[00:31:54] It is how do I manage it?
[00:31:55] Because anxiety is a real emotion that we can honor and validate
[00:32:00] and move with and learn from, right?
[00:32:03] So as we figure out how do we experience the gamut of being human
[00:32:09] and we humanize it and we say being human is actually normal
[00:32:13] and everything does not have to be a pathology.
[00:32:16] Everything is not necessarily an illness, but it's a human experience too
[00:32:21] that I think we can kind of move, you know, in a space where
[00:32:25] being human is not always a diagnosis, it's not always a problem.
[00:32:30] But it is just reality that we have to pivot through
[00:32:34] because we've all been here, right?
[00:32:36] And that's not putting down where there are real diagnosis
[00:32:39] and there are real illnesses that come.
[00:32:42] But I think we have kind of stepped into the realm
[00:32:44] where everything becomes a pathology and we have to be mindful
[00:32:50] that we are still humans in this experience
[00:32:53] and we are learning and pivoting as we go,
[00:32:55] to know, intersect the God thing, right?
[00:32:59] And how do we do this?
[00:33:01] I think one thing I've talked this class many times
[00:33:04] is the art of lamenting.
[00:33:08] And I think that part has not been loud in churches
[00:33:12] but that secret language of lamenting
[00:33:15] that they seek throughout scripture
[00:33:17] of how they connected to God in their adversity.
[00:33:21] How they connected to God when they were lost,
[00:33:23] when they had lost, right?
[00:33:25] When they were scared and confused,
[00:33:27] they came to God with such honesty, with such realness.
[00:33:31] It was not this, oh, I have faith,
[00:33:34] so I don't have to tell you, I'm asking you how long,
[00:33:37] when will you, and how long will it take and how could you?
[00:33:41] Like those were the words of those men and women of scripture
[00:33:46] that we lost, that we came into it
[00:33:49] and took away the humanity of being with God
[00:33:53] as if we're supposed to be God.
[00:33:55] No, I am always just human.
[00:33:58] I'm always in need of a savior.
[00:33:59] I'm always in this place of God, help me, God,
[00:34:02] I'm trying to understand you, God give me direction.
[00:34:06] I disagree with you even, right?
[00:34:08] But how do we get that space for us to give God the questions
[00:34:13] so he can give us the answers?
[00:34:15] And I don't have to try to create them on my own.
[00:34:18] I can literally allow him to speak to me in those situations,
[00:34:22] but I cannot come to him in a space where I don't really need you.
[00:34:27] So I'm just going to say this.
[00:34:28] No, I'm broken, confused, lost,
[00:34:30] devastated and trying to figure out why you have given me this portion
[00:34:34] right now so you guide me, you lead me, you show me.
[00:34:38] And then we see God show up in a way that the men of scriptures
[00:34:42] got to see God.
[00:34:43] We want that, but we don't do what they did, right?
[00:34:46] And a huge part of our mental health explodes.
[00:34:51] When I'm able to be raw with God and real with God,
[00:34:55] then I'm seeing him in a way that I get to see myself through his eyes.
[00:35:01] And then when I'm transported, I'm changed, I'm renewed,
[00:35:05] right, in a way that I had that before.
[00:35:07] But it was because I gave him all of me expecting him
[00:35:13] to show Lee, God direct, right?
[00:35:16] Uh huh.
[00:35:19] Well, what's up guys?
[00:35:25] Is your girl Victoria Jay here to tell you about my partner's better
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[00:37:31] I just had an aha moment.
[00:37:36] You said just now, like, I was going through a week of that.
[00:37:42] Of I need to be angry.
[00:37:44] I need to be frustrated.
[00:37:45] I need to understand why I'm going through this.
[00:37:49] And it's so funny that you said it.
[00:37:51] I was just sitting here thinking before I got the last comment.
[00:37:54] God, you are so amazing at how you go about answering my questions for one.
[00:38:01] And you just summed it up perfectly for me personally.
[00:38:05] And I'll get into that with you later.
[00:38:07] Jamie, how about you?
[00:38:10] Guys, we lost Hannaion and we lost Shanti.
[00:38:14] Shanti said she was about to pass out.
[00:38:15] She's on tour, on book tour.
[00:38:17] So I totally understand it.
[00:38:18] And this has gone a little bit longer than I anticipated.
[00:38:22] So we'll give it over to you, Jamie,
[00:38:24] because I know that you had to go as well.
[00:38:26] How do you feel about it?
[00:38:27] About the answer.
[00:38:29] Yeah, I already answered the answer.
[00:38:32] So now we're we're we're Kimberly, Kimberly, the mental health guru.
[00:38:38] Well, that's a big title, but oh my gosh, you're right in the sense that
[00:38:43] I could I could talk about that for hours and you know that.
[00:38:46] And I do.
[00:38:47] Mental health and Jesus, my two favorite things in the entire world
[00:38:52] and always will be so I have a lot to say about it.
[00:38:54] But I will just try to hit some of the really important nuggets.
[00:38:59] Mental health is health.
[00:39:00] I very, very much believe that I want that to be a message
[00:39:03] that I share with people often.
[00:39:06] I'm as I dove into the beautiful, beautiful scriptures
[00:39:10] that God has left for us in creating the Christian method.
[00:39:14] It just was so abundantly clear to me
[00:39:16] that mental health is at his heart.
[00:39:19] He and the reason why I say that it's not that there's all these
[00:39:22] diagnoses mentioned in scripture or anything like that.
[00:39:25] And a little bit of what Natalie was talking about, you know,
[00:39:28] just the lamenting and all of those common symptoms are definitely mentioned.
[00:39:33] But what I'm talking about is his heart for our thoughts
[00:39:35] was so obvious to me that not only is he saying love the Lord
[00:39:40] with all your heart, soul, mind and strength as number one
[00:39:44] and number two, love your neighbor as yourself.
[00:39:46] But the the verse in Romans, Romans 12, two became the
[00:39:51] whole more diverse of my entire program.
[00:39:54] It is.
[00:39:56] Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed
[00:39:59] by the renewing of your mind so that you can test and approve
[00:40:02] God's perfect and pleasing will.
[00:40:05] And I think when I reread that in preparing for this program,
[00:40:08] it was like Victoria, like you said, like an aha moment,
[00:40:11] like, oh, my gosh, transforming your mind, like that's what I do.
[00:40:16] It just felt like such a huge God wing of him saying,
[00:40:19] yes, you're on the right path and people need to know this.
[00:40:22] They need to know that what I want for them and how they're going
[00:40:25] to have more of a biblical world view is that they they align
[00:40:29] their thinking, they leave their thinking and their beliefs
[00:40:32] at the altar and they they pick up mine.
[00:40:36] How do I want you to see?
[00:40:38] How do I want you to feel?
[00:40:39] How do I want you to behave?
[00:40:40] How do I want you to see yourself?
[00:40:43] And not many people just like I said, you know, in my last answer,
[00:40:46] not many people are willing to do that.
[00:40:48] You know, they're not willing to do a lot of the things that
[00:40:51] that each of us ladies apparently is willing to do.
[00:40:56] That's the answer.
[00:40:57] Like having a biblical world view means that your preferences
[00:40:59] do not matter, that you're willing to say I might be totally wrong.
[00:41:03] I mean, like Natalie said earlier, I mean, I've totally missed the mark on this.
[00:41:07] But that's a way this is not this life is not about me.
[00:41:11] It's really about adopting God's view of everything that he created.
[00:41:16] And that includes us and it includes our neighbors and our loved ones and all of that.
[00:41:20] And so the two things that I'm most after in what I am doing right now
[00:41:24] is saving lives and saving souls.
[00:41:27] Those two things go together.
[00:41:30] The way that I get to a person's, you know,
[00:41:32] symptomology of mental health and suicidality
[00:41:36] is really helping them to see that their thoughts are always the problem.
[00:41:40] That's where all of our battle start is in our mind.
[00:41:43] And so you can tell like all of you ladies are shaking your head
[00:41:47] and you realize like that's why this is such a passionate platform for me.
[00:41:52] And maybe even for you guys, I miss them on your introductions.
[00:41:56] But I want to not just encourage people
[00:41:59] and realizing that it's important, I want to teach them how there's
[00:42:02] a big missing piece in the church, which is you might realize
[00:42:06] that you're thinking isn't right, but how many people are spending time
[00:42:09] telling you how to change that?
[00:42:12] That is just reading 66.
[00:42:16] The natural strategy, right?
[00:42:18] Yeah.
[00:42:19] Very passionate about teaching people how to do that
[00:42:22] because I know how it's changed my life.
[00:42:24] And this is why I wanted to do this in two segments.
[00:42:27] A, I know it was going to be a long conversation.
[00:42:29] We only tapped into three of the questions that I had out of five.
[00:42:33] But this is why, because I knew that the group of ladies
[00:42:36] that I brought together, you guys would have some answers that will help me.
[00:42:40] And if I'm asking these questions, somebody else is out there asking
[00:42:45] some of these questions.
[00:42:47] They have the same thoughts swirling around in their mind.
[00:42:50] And I think to a fault, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
[00:42:54] So anything that I come into contact with, whether it be education,
[00:42:58] whether it be in the workplace, whether it be mental health,
[00:43:02] I wear that with me.
[00:43:03] And that's something that God is trying to teach me to separate
[00:43:08] my personal and not bring all that baggage in because I can't save the world.
[00:43:12] I'm not Jesus, but I knew that you guys bringing all you guys together
[00:43:17] collectively would give me something else to think about
[00:43:21] in all the areas that we talked about today.
[00:43:24] If you guys could leave us with any lasting words,
[00:43:27] because I'm not even going to dive into the other two questions
[00:43:30] I've kept you guys long enough, what would it be?
[00:43:33] And we'll start with you, Jamie.
[00:43:37] Any last thoughts?
[00:43:42] Oh, of course I'm first.
[00:43:47] One of the things that someone taught me one time was give them Jamie
[00:43:52] that became my mantra for a year.
[00:43:56] And as a woman and as a person of faith and everything,
[00:44:00] learning to give my unique self
[00:44:03] to whatever situation I'm in, whether work, family,
[00:44:07] nonprofit work, my faith.
[00:44:11] People need us to show up and God needs us to show up.
[00:44:16] He draws us to him.
[00:44:18] And I just that's something that I think is important is
[00:44:24] to not just show up who you are
[00:44:29] to the table, no matter what you're doing, whether it's your faith or work.
[00:44:34] Well, you may have asked you, Natalie.
[00:44:39] Any thoughts are also so difficult because we've talked about so much stuff.
[00:44:44] So I think about anything it is, part of my mantra is,
[00:44:50] it's your choice, right?
[00:44:51] It's your choice to choose God.
[00:44:53] It's your choice to choose yourself.
[00:44:56] It's your choice to move in the direction that God leads you into.
[00:45:01] We always have choices at the end of the day.
[00:45:05] Choosing is not choosing is the same as choosing.
[00:45:08] So it is learning how powerful our choices are
[00:45:11] and that at any time get to pivot and change, right?
[00:45:16] Learn to embrace the mighty pause and learning just to calm your own voice
[00:45:21] down, to calm your thoughts down, to get redirected before you move.
[00:45:26] I think we move so fast.
[00:45:28] We talk too fast. We move too fast.
[00:45:31] We don't know how to really calm ourselves to just get in touch with us inside, right?
[00:45:37] And the God inside us for those that believe it is important that we learn
[00:45:42] that and we see that as a gift that we give ourselves, as well as we give out to others.
[00:45:48] If I throw anything else in there, it would be to learn that.
[00:45:53] You have the ability to always change your mind
[00:45:58] and in changing your mind sometimes it is the biggest gift that you can give yourself.
[00:46:04] Be willing to always own when you're ignorant because ignorance is just simply
[00:46:08] you don't know and there's no embarrassment and not knowing when we think we know it all,
[00:46:13] we don't search out for more.
[00:46:15] So keep yourself in the space of this is something I don't know, but I can always learn.
[00:46:21] And it opens you up to a plethora of things that you never would have partaken
[00:46:26] in if you stood in the place of I know.
[00:46:29] So everything I approach has come from there's so much of this that I don't know.
[00:46:34] And I've been doing this for 25 years and there's still so much I don't know.
[00:46:39] So I am with my clients in the space of you teach me you and let's grow together.
[00:46:44] But let's learn, right?
[00:46:45] Learning is exciting.
[00:46:47] It does not have to be daunting.
[00:46:48] It does not have to be scary.
[00:46:50] It is just you opening yourself up to a bunch of information you did not know
[00:46:55] before, and then you get to pick and choose from the plethora of information out there.
[00:47:00] And then you get to decide and you get to make choices.
[00:47:04] So realize how much power it is in your choices, own your choices,
[00:47:10] own the consequences of your choices and on the fact that with your choices,
[00:47:15] you can pivot and move.
[00:47:17] And hopefully we all want to help somebody else live a better life.
[00:47:22] Thank you, Natalie.
[00:47:24] You know, one of the things that stuck out for me with you during our last
[00:47:28] conversation was and I carry this with me now.
[00:47:32] You said, you know, it's OK not to know everything.
[00:47:37] Do you know how beautiful it is just to learn?
[00:47:40] And that stuck out to me from our last conversation many months ago.
[00:47:46] And it made me look at everything so
[00:47:48] different because I think sometimes we walk into situations where we feel
[00:47:52] like we either got to know everything, we have to know everything,
[00:47:56] or it's that fake it till you make it mentality and we're not
[00:48:02] confident enough in ourself to say, you know what, I just don't know.
[00:48:07] And learn together or maybe you can teach me something that I don't know
[00:48:11] because I don't know everything, you know?
[00:48:14] I didn't know how to put this show together.
[00:48:15] I knew it was something that got laid on my heart.
[00:48:18] And I use I told everybody, you know,
[00:48:20] I went to the University of YouTube and learned everything because people are not
[00:48:25] apt to share everything when you're in content creative spaces.
[00:48:31] They kind of hold stuff to the best and it's a fact.
[00:48:35] So I had to figure out some things out of my own.
[00:48:38] And I thank God for that because I was able to share it with my church.
[00:48:42] I never thought that I would be going back to my church that I grew up
[00:48:46] so long ago and they're not Wi-Fi or or internet literate.
[00:48:52] And I was able to do their videos and help them.
[00:48:56] So God had a purpose for everything that he had me doing.
[00:48:59] So I love that.
[00:49:01] Kimberly last but not least, and then we're going to get out of here guys.
[00:49:06] So this is just like closing remarks.
[00:49:09] Just any.
[00:49:09] OK.
[00:49:11] Any time I get the chance, one of the messages I want to share is just that
[00:49:15] you matter.
[00:49:16] That's something that God puts on my heart often with my line of work.
[00:49:20] And again, we just can't hear that enough.
[00:49:23] You matter if you're listening to this, if you're watching this,
[00:49:27] I am so keenly aware just as I know these other ladies are too that.
[00:49:32] Unfortunately,
[00:49:34] Satan does have power in this in this life and in this earth.
[00:49:38] And he does work really diligently to to fill our minds with things that
[00:49:44] are the exact opposite of how God wants us to see ourselves.
[00:49:48] And I just want you to think about what your life would look like if you had a
[00:49:53] core belief that you are so loved, what kind of decisions would you make?
[00:49:58] What kind of feelings would you have?
[00:50:00] What would life look like if you really knew in your heart how loved you
[00:50:04] actually are and that Satan can never come against that?
[00:50:07] He can never convince you otherwise because it's so solid in your heart
[00:50:12] that there's only one you.
[00:50:14] There's never it just blows my mind to think about our creator in that in that
[00:50:18] capacity, that he will continue to create humans and there's never going to be one
[00:50:23] that's exactly like who you are.
[00:50:25] Never.
[00:50:27] And that's so valuable.
[00:50:30] And I think when we have a core belief like that,
[00:50:33] that is really that secure in our hearts,
[00:50:36] then even when we have a thought of I can't do this, this is too much.
[00:50:41] Other people would be better if they didn't have the burden of me.
[00:50:44] That can be a fleeting thought.
[00:50:46] And then God just immediately rushes in with that's not for you.
[00:50:51] That thought is not for you.
[00:50:52] That is not how I see you.
[00:50:54] I'm the one who is the author of life and death and don't listen to anything
[00:50:59] other than that.
[00:51:00] My word is going to be here forever and it's lasting and it's truthful.
[00:51:05] And it's just it's just awesome.
[00:51:08] He's just awesome.
[00:51:09] So thank you for letting me share that.
[00:51:11] You're welcome.
[00:51:12] You guys feel me and I believe God knew what he was doing today.
[00:51:18] Thank you guys so much.
[00:51:20] And then there were two of us getting ready to close it out, but she left already.
[00:51:25] Guys, do you want to leave any of your handles?
[00:51:28] Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, where can they find you?
[00:51:32] Anything that you are doing right now
[00:51:35] currently that you want the audience?
[00:51:40] Yeah.
[00:51:41] So my website is www.nabbylamb.me.
[00:51:46] Simple Facebook is your choice and
[00:51:50] Instagram is your choice.
[00:51:52] Oh, six I have two books, The Wisdom Chronicles, Open Your Eyes and
[00:51:58] what I want you to know so you can pick those up Amazon, Barnes and Noble,
[00:52:02] all those fun places, but always on a mission to try to help others open for
[00:52:09] clients to help with life coaching, relationship coaching, including parenting
[00:52:14] and marriage and dating and pre-marriage.
[00:52:17] I do all of that as well as grief coaching, which is something that has become
[00:52:21] over these last 22 years after losing my mom, a really, really big part
[00:52:26] that I never thought would be a part, but it has become a really hard part
[00:52:30] of what I do of helping people through the grieving process,
[00:52:34] the loss of people, but also all the losses that we deal with.
[00:52:39] So it is encompassing us so much.
[00:52:42] So, you know, look me up.
[00:52:46] I definitely will.
[00:52:47] And with that being said, that was one of the things that I want to tap in
[00:52:50] today too was the grief because I know that's something that you specialize in.
[00:52:55] I would love to have you back on and do a one on one sooner rather than later.
[00:53:00] I know I'm on break, but I'm going to do some pop ups because I know a lot of
[00:53:03] people and a lot of people are dealing with that.
[00:53:05] You as well, Kimberley, if you have something that you want to try man
[00:53:08] on that situation with grief, I'd love to do something really, really soon here
[00:53:13] with that, but where can they find you?
[00:53:15] What are you up to, Kimberly?
[00:53:17] So my handle for YouTube and for Instagram is the same.
[00:53:22] It's at Kimberly Christian LCSW.
[00:53:26] I do have a website that's going to be launching in about three weeks.
[00:53:29] So I'll go ahead and tell you what that's going to be, but it's not quite ready.
[00:53:32] It's Kimberly Christian LCSW.com.
[00:53:35] And then I have a Facebook community and that is belief based healing hub.
[00:53:43] And that those are all great ways to connect with me.
[00:53:46] So thank you.
[00:53:47] One of the group I'm a part of that group.
[00:53:49] So yes, one group.
[00:53:52] Well, as for me, guys, the only thing that I have to say is thank you.
[00:53:55] Thank you so much for those of you that carved out your time on a Saturday
[00:53:59] to be with us.
[00:54:00] I really, really appreciate it.
[00:54:02] I've been pushing this for a little bit and this year I'm able to finally get it
[00:54:06] off the ground.
[00:54:07] I have what I have call a
[00:54:11] program that I have been trying to launch for the last two years.
[00:54:14] And what this is, it is where I'm trying to get people to do donations,
[00:54:20] something as small as throw blankets, socks.
[00:54:24] So I can go into a living facility of the of my choice every year.
[00:54:29] And give at least 50 to 100 men and women that don't have anybody coming in
[00:54:35] to see them during the holiday.
[00:54:37] Most of you guys know my story.
[00:54:38] We ended up putting my mom in a living facility.
[00:54:41] And although she had all the love in the world from us coming when I would
[00:54:45] walk through those halls, you would see people literally sitting in their wheel
[00:54:49] chairs and no family to visit them.
[00:54:52] No one was bringing them a seven course meal at Thanksgiving or Christmas.
[00:54:56] And I wanted to do something about that as a way to give back.
[00:55:06] Seniors get left out when they get placed in places like that.
[00:55:10] And as well as our prayer group, we went to we go pray at a lot of those
[00:55:16] places and in Virginia and the Virginia area guys, some of those people
[00:55:21] don't even have televisions.
[00:55:22] So they're staring at the wall all day.
[00:55:25] They're waiting for someone else to assist them with something.
[00:55:29] And their social security checks is paying for them to be in these places.
[00:55:33] So if I can do something about that, I'm going to.
[00:55:36] So with that being said, I have a young lady.
[00:55:39] Her name is by the name of hustle crane.
[00:55:40] If you guys can see my T.
[00:55:42] She's doing t-shirts for 12 Street Top Mac.
[00:55:45] They are going to be thirty six dollars.
[00:55:47] Only six dollars of the proceeds is going to go to me because she's a small
[00:55:51] business. We want to put something in her pocket as well as we want to help her
[00:55:55] with the shipping, but that's going to go towards my senior Christmas program.
[00:56:00] That is the one of the ways that you can donate to this program that's
[00:56:03] kicking off September the first, which is tomorrow.
[00:56:05] And I'm going to try to gather all of that.
[00:56:07] Another way is sign up and join the show by Spotify.
[00:56:13] If you follow the show on Spotify, they have an option for you to subscribe
[00:56:17] to the show as little as ninety nine a month.
[00:56:21] If you subscribe to the show and follow that money goes into account and they'll
[00:56:26] pay me out monthly, and that is what I'm going to do with that money.
[00:56:30] None of those proceeds are going in my pocket.
[00:56:32] I want to be able to give back to the community.
[00:56:34] And with platforms like this, we had seven beautiful ladies here today.
[00:56:39] All unique, all distinct, all prayer warriors.
[00:56:43] God told me a long time ago that this
[00:56:47] platform was going to become a way to bring people together for healing and hope.
[00:56:52] And I've met some beautiful people,
[00:56:54] and this is just the beginning of the group of ladies that you have seen here today.
[00:56:59] So I thank you guys for joining me.
[00:57:00] Thank you, Natalie.
[00:57:02] Thank you, Kimberly, for staying to the end.
[00:57:04] And if nothing else, guys, enjoy your holiday weekend.
[00:57:08] I'm going to get out of here and let you guys go.
[00:57:10] Guys, remember, remember all these ladies on their platforms.
[00:57:15] I will pin all their information to the end of this show.
[00:57:18] This show, this segment will be out on Tuesday, September the third or fourth.
[00:57:25] But you can always come back and watch it from the beginning
[00:57:29] on our YouTube channel.
[00:57:30] And that is at 12th Street Topback.
[00:57:33] Thank you. Thank you so much, ladies, for joining the show.
[00:57:36] If you guys can't do anything else this weekend, get yourself into a Bible
[00:57:39] based church under the covering of a great leader.
[00:57:43] Give someone a kind word and a hot meal goes a long, long way.
[00:57:48] Thank you guys again for joining.
[00:57:58] This podcast is a production of Unfiltered Studios.
[00:58:01] If you would like to know more about joining Unfiltered Studios,
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