Triggers...

[00:00:16] Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome Back to 12th Street Talk Back, where transparency is our

[00:00:26] lovely language. I am your host Victoria J, back in the building one more time to kick

[00:00:37] it with my peeps. I hope you guys have been pouring into yourself on this fine

[00:00:44] day that God has decided to bless us in. You girl been pouring into herself as

[00:00:50] best as she could on a scale of one to ten. I'm probably right there at maybe a

[00:00:58] three or a four and that's not on the good side of the scale if you guys know

[00:01:05] what I mean. So since this is mental health awareness month, we thought I'd kick off an episode talking about it.

[00:01:13] As well as I want to recognize any nurses out there because this is also nurse awareness

[00:01:23] month. And I have a big sister that happens to be in that field. Shout out to my big sister, Connie.

[00:01:31] Connie, thank you for all that you do in our community. All nurses, thank you for what you do in our

[00:01:39] community. They wear many hats guys and they have their plate full. They help with us, they help with

[00:01:48] the doctors. They got so many different tasks that they do and they play in those roles in our

[00:01:56] community. So I wanted to recognize that as well as it being mental health month. So as we jump

[00:02:04] into this segment today, I'm going to talk about it from a few different standpoints. I'm going to

[00:02:10] talk about the old school way of thinking about mental health. I'm going to talk about it as a

[00:02:16] Christian in our different beliefs. Some of us I can't lump everybody in that box. But let's face

[00:02:24] it. Mental health is like a roller coaster ride. One minute you're feeling like you're on

[00:02:30] top of the world. The next you're stuck in a fall. But hey, that's life, right? As they say,

[00:02:37] life be life and well today we're going to talk about it openly and honestly the ups

[00:02:43] and the downs about it because I think it is very important to see the different layers

[00:02:54] that this topic in bling bring to our lives. So whether you're stuck in traffic,

[00:03:04] whether your cruise and on cruise control on easy street, mental health matters.

[00:03:11] So buckle up your seat belt, put on your headphones, turn your car radio up, kick

[00:03:17] back, relax, go up your feet. Because today we're going to be talking about mental health

[00:03:24] right after this quick message from our sponsors. Better help, better help. Thank you for sponsoring

[00:03:32] this podcast. What's up guys? It's your girl Victoria J from 12th Street Top Back here to tell

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[00:05:41] No, no, we're to Better Help today and tell them Victoria Jay sent you from 12th Street. Talk back.

[00:05:51] Okay guys and we're back. Let's jump into this awesome, awesome topic today. Mental health

[00:05:59] as it seems to be on the hearts and the mind of people in today's society. I have to give it up

[00:06:09] to the younger generation, the Gen X, the Gen Z for simply bringing this to the forefront

[00:06:19] over the last couple years especially in the Black community what would say and that's just my

[00:06:27] a personal opinion because we were brought up a certain type of way. We were brought up that what

[00:06:38] goes on in the house stays in the house. Don't ask, don't tell. We were brought up in a way that

[00:06:49] you know it really didn't help us out whereas my generation started to grow up I guess I would say

[00:07:01] and start to unpack some of the layers that wasn't quite healthy for us. No in the last

[00:07:09] two and a half years, been focusing on it a little bit more. I've been taking my time

[00:07:17] and doing it my way. I do recognize that there is a lot of things that my parents instilled in me

[00:07:24] that I also tried to instill in my children. Tough it up. It's not that bad. It's not that hard.

[00:07:32] Pray about it. Get over it. But after a while all of that gets old and our new younger

[00:07:44] generation they stood firm and tall and said look we're not going to do it the way that you guys did

[00:07:55] it. We're going to go and we're going to get some help with all the things that life has to throw

[00:08:04] at us whether it be self-harm, sexual abuse, suicide, violence. We're not going to do it that way

[00:08:15] and I cannot negate the fact that we still live in a world where a lot of that goes on.

[00:08:21] Self-harm, sexual abuse, suicide, violence. A lot more people are coming together and they're

[00:08:30] getting with their physicians or perhaps just noticing that they need to change in their self

[00:08:37] and they're talking to someone. They're going and using the tools at our disposal. When we were

[00:08:44] growing up and my generation, we didn't have that. Over the last two or three years I've changed

[00:08:50] my mind a little bit and I would say more than less because I was raised in that Christian

[00:08:58] household. You prayed about it. You prayed about it and there was no uh don't ask any questions,

[00:09:07] don't ask, don't tell type of deal if there was things such as sexual assault in the household

[00:09:16] or perhaps not in the household perhaps one of your children, one of your siblings was getting

[00:09:23] sexually assaulted by a family member that did not live with you but just happened to be around

[00:09:32] as well as self-harm. We do ourselves a lot of harm by carrying a lot of baggage around with us.

[00:09:41] Self-inflicted pain, listening to others, listening to others' opinions about us and

[00:09:48] that can stem from family members to friends to strangers as well as work related. Work related,

[00:10:00] your mental health can be affected by the job that you work on some of the tasks that you have to

[00:10:07] perform and definitely some of the people that you have to be around and it could play a toll

[00:10:15] on the mind and as we know everything that goes through the brain affects your system.

[00:10:22] Our nervous system gets affected greatly. Some of us like myself just have things like anxiety.

[00:10:34] Anxiety can play a big role, depression about a lot of different things. We could be depressed

[00:10:41] about our children, bills, the job, our health, losing a loved one, our bodies, body shaming,

[00:10:55] strangers and definitely our children with peer pressure. And I would say that for adults too.

[00:11:03] Adults, we can be some big old bullies sometimes. We can peer pressure each other because we

[00:11:09] live in a world where everybody wants to follow somebody and the time that you step out and be

[00:11:17] your own individual self then you get labeled as difficult. And we've seen that come down the

[00:11:26] pipeline in the last couple years. I know I've had my fair share of it. I just experienced

[00:11:32] that about a week or so ago. Being out here doing this thing that I love podcasting sometimes is great

[00:11:41] when it's great and when it's not, it's not. And sometimes you run into people that don't share

[00:11:47] your opinion or your views or may not just like the topic that you talk about. I had someone

[00:11:55] in the last week try to shame me for being a Christian and try to shame me for having

[00:12:02] Bible study Monday, Wednesday and Friday. They tried to shame my character. But the thing about it is

[00:12:10] they don't even know me. They know me from this platform. And if I wasn't a strong minded individual,

[00:12:20] I probably would have let that affect me more than it did. But it did affect me that day

[00:12:27] because it was an invitation to be a part of something that the person that tried to shame me

[00:12:35] actually invited me to. And I felt set up. I felt betrayed and it did mess with me mentally

[00:12:45] because my mom was saying I dare you, but my flesh was saying how could you and I went into

[00:12:52] what they call fight mode? Thank God he has deposited something different on the inside of me.

[00:13:01] And I don't do the things that I used to do because the old me would have went into a whole show.

[00:13:12] I would have probably cussed that individual out as well as got on my platform and talked about it

[00:13:19] in a negative way. I went home feeling better about not saying anything, but my flesh I was

[00:13:31] warring with my flesh because my flesh constantly wanted me to say or do something. Ultimately,

[00:13:38] by the time it was bedtime, I realized, A, I had let this particular person take away too much

[00:13:44] space in my head that they shouldn't have and B, I had to pat myself on the back because I didn't

[00:13:52] react the way that I would have reacted and C, as part of my faith walk. The Holy Spirit

[00:14:02] checked me. My conscience checked me. However you want to say it, Holy Spirit conscious,

[00:14:10] it checked me and said, you know what? You shouldn't have been there in the first place.

[00:14:17] That's not your type of crowd. That's not the people that you hang out with. That was your

[00:14:22] old life. Why would you try to go back to your old life? Whether you're trying to support

[00:14:29] someone or not? Sometimes we just can't go back to the things that we used to do.

[00:14:36] And we have to be wise enough in our walk with Christ to understand that.

[00:14:43] But mentally, it stressed me out for a little bit. We were raised that what goes on in the house

[00:14:50] stays in the house and we definitely did not do therapy. If you did therapy back in my time,

[00:14:58] it was something that the teacher or the social worker suggested for your child.

[00:15:05] And you were being obedient because you didn't want to get in trouble with the law.

[00:15:09] It wasn't on the front. Most of our minds of our parents, mine and as my mom.

[00:15:19] As I began to think about everything that transpired in my life, I thought about friends,

[00:15:26] family members, people that had been sexually assaulted, people that had been sexually assaulted

[00:15:35] by siblings, people that have been sexually assaulted by family members and even church members.

[00:15:44] That's right. Church members. I started to think about some of the people

[00:15:51] that our parents used to trust us around and thought that that person was a pretty okay adult.

[00:15:59] And some people carry that in their spirit. They carry it with them for the rest of their life

[00:16:06] and certain things like songs, smells, it triggers that certainly not triggered at this last

[00:16:18] event that I tried to support because that person was trying to bring me back to my past.

[00:16:25] And my Bible tells me that God did a new thing in me when I turned my life over to him.

[00:16:33] So why should I associate with anybody, whether I know them or not,

[00:16:37] they try to remind me of my past when I'm trying so hard to run away from my past.

[00:16:45] Not that I'm not dealing with my past, but some things you just rather forget.

[00:16:53] And that's a part of mental health forgetting things. Sometimes we season people. Some of us

[00:17:00] have buried stuff so deep because that's the way our parents taught us. Buried is said,

[00:17:11] it's done. It's over with. You can't do anything about it. That was yesterday. Pray about it.

[00:17:18] Being raised in a Christian household, that was the thing that we were taught the most.

[00:17:23] Pray about it. God will handle it. And the next thing it was, oh, you don't believe in God.

[00:17:30] You don't believe that God can work miracles. I do believe that he can work miracles.

[00:17:35] I do believe that he stands in the midst of our situations. But I also believe that he gave us

[00:17:44] professionals like doctors and nurses and scientists and teachers. These things, such as mental health,

[00:17:53] is a part of their expertise. And it should not be taken lightly.

[00:18:00] Now, we may not be for everybody. My mate is old school. And he still thinks in the same form

[00:18:10] that his parents taught him. Pray about it. There's nothing in life that can affect you

[00:18:18] that badly where I need to sit down and talk to anyone. And that's just not

[00:18:24] not dealing with his self as an individual. That's in our marriage too. And that can be

[00:18:30] difficult at times when you want to go and get help for y'all, but they don't want to go because

[00:18:39] that's not their belief. So then you end up divided. It's half and half. You do what you need to

[00:18:46] do for you. But that still takes a mental call because you're supposed to be one.

[00:18:54] As I try to work this thing out in my household, found a formula that works for me. I talk when I

[00:19:01] need to talk to someone, whether it be a therapist or whether it be someone that I don't know.

[00:19:08] I try not to use anybody that I know that is immediate family. And I do add what my parents

[00:19:16] taught me was pray about it. And I continue to talk to my father about it until I feel a little

[00:19:24] better, but I'm not comfortable with the fact that we have two different views on mental health.

[00:19:33] The only thing that I can ask for as maybe one day, a light bulb will come on with him and he'll meet me

[00:19:42] halfway. But as the old saying go, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. And I got one better than

[00:19:52] that. Someone once said sometimes you can change your man. But ultimately they'll go back to who

[00:20:01] they used to be. Because that's what they know. Not my words guys. So don't go on any rocks in my

[00:20:12] glass house over here. But I think it happens all around us and we need to be aware even in the

[00:20:22] workplace. I was bullied in the workplace of a job that the actual overseer of the company came

[00:20:35] and recruited me as a young adult and I ended up spending many years wherever she moved from

[00:20:44] a company, I moved she always recruited me only to come to the end of it. Jealousy set in there

[00:20:52] as she got older, I got better. She got jealous. Maybe she thought her job was threatened.

[00:21:01] But either way, she tried it. She started to treat me differently and it not only affected

[00:21:08] my mental health, it affected me physically too. I was stressing myself out losing hair, losing

[00:21:16] sleep behind the job. It was the nitpicking. She began to nitpick at stuff that I know wasn't

[00:21:26] right for her to nitpick at. But she was being a bully. And I think it was because she could

[00:21:32] look in the mirror and see that she was getting older. And all the new things that was taking

[00:21:39] place at this company, I was catching on and I was catching on quick. And she didn't want

[00:21:45] her job to be threatened. Not knowing that young girl that she had daunted on for so many years

[00:21:55] crack was baggage in itself, or having to come home to parents that said just that,

[00:22:03] pray about it. We as Christians sometimes I feel like we get a bad rep and I will say that

[00:22:11] because sometimes we are seen as soon as we say we're Christian that we don't cuss,

[00:22:18] we don't smoke, we don't drink and we try not to fall out with people. And I did say try that

[00:22:24] being the operative word because you know what? Some Christians try to say that yes, I love

[00:22:30] everybody. We're not in a great mood every single day of our lives. And anyone that says that

[00:22:38] they are is just not true. We have our bad moments. One of the worst moments of our life

[00:22:46] is when we start to fall short of what God's word said. And it's a lot to try to train and tame

[00:22:57] your flesh and keep your mind in heavenly places. You still got to walk through this world.

[00:23:04] You still got to contend with people, whether they're having a bad day, whether they're having a good

[00:23:10] day or perhaps like the story I told you guys earlier, whether they believe in God or not.

[00:23:16] It's a constant battle and being raised like that and that always being at the forefront

[00:23:24] of your mind even when you get out of your parents house, they raised you to be a Christian.

[00:23:31] So anytime you're doing something that you know that's not pleasing to God or your parents,

[00:23:37] whether you still do your dirt or not, it still messes with you mentally. When I said that I thought

[00:23:45] Christians get a bad rep, I think that some people when you say I'm a Christian, they think

[00:23:51] that all you do is walk around with a bunch of scripture coming out of your mouth, hearing

[00:23:56] your Bible and preaching the gospel to everybody. And it's just quite not true. A lot of people,

[00:24:04] and I know some of you guys have, whether you admit it or not, they'll climb up when someone says

[00:24:11] that they are Christian or they're trying to watch their curse word. It's not for us

[00:24:16] to try to change you, but it's for us to maintain in whatever circumstance we're in to be okay.

[00:24:27] I'll say it, I'm content and all things I do. And he didn't write really mean it the way that I just

[00:24:33] explained it, but he meant wherever he goes, whatever he's doing, wherever he's eating,

[00:24:38] wherever he's sleeping and all things that I do. So maybe he did. So we're supposed to be

[00:24:45] okay in different settings. But the problem is sometimes people change the narrative in the setting.

[00:24:54] And if you're not secure in your walk, you can find yourself being changed with the narrative

[00:25:04] just because you chose that lifestyle change. We're supposed to make people feel comfortable.

[00:25:11] But we want to be comfortable too. We don't want to worry, but we do. We don't want to have doubt.

[00:25:17] We want to have faith. We want to be able to stand as long as we can stand and we want to be

[00:25:26] what God told us to be the example that he showed us. But sometimes you have things that come

[00:25:35] across your plate that simply bothers you. Whether you're a Christian or not, there's a lot of things

[00:25:45] that bother people. Whether it be social media. We've heard the stories in social media where

[00:25:53] people have had something sad nasty about them and it becomes a running joke. And they end up

[00:26:00] committing suicide. We have people that commit suicide and we didn't even know anything was wrong

[00:26:10] with. Take Twitch. I spoke about him last year. Every time we seen him in the public eye, he was

[00:26:20] enjoying music, the Ellen show, dancing with his mate. But ultimately ended his life

[00:26:30] in a hotel room by himself. No one saw that coming. Over the last two years, as I've been educated

[00:26:43] by one of our fellow live casters, shots out to Chronicles of a Virgo. She's helped me in so

[00:26:52] many ways just listening to her show or having personal conversations. I'm able to listen a little

[00:26:59] bit more instead of combat with my young adults. And as well, getting back into my world, my faith

[00:27:10] wall being in my word daily helps my mental status. It helps me know the difference from

[00:27:19] being obedient and disobedient when it shows me the path of what's right and wrong. And it

[00:27:27] doesn't mean that sometimes I'm not going to get satracked like I did last week with this particular

[00:27:33] person and their event. But it means I have something to hold on to when I come up against that mountain

[00:27:43] that just doesn't want to move at that particular time. Can fight with the world. And I do think

[00:27:54] that all of us get triggered, whether you're a Christian, whether you're not a Christian.

[00:28:00] I think that we all can learn something from it. I think my significant other could learn a whole

[00:28:07] lot from it. But some people is just so stuck in their ways that sometimes it takes for them to

[00:28:17] recognize it. You can't tell them they have to recognize it within their self just like me.

[00:28:25] I've talked about it in the past, where I thought that most children were just spoiled,

[00:28:31] just kicking and screaming because you can't have your way. And I'm not talking about small

[00:28:35] children. I'm talking about my young adults. I'm talking about teenagers, small children,

[00:28:39] even grown folk that it was just our lifestyle and the environment that we were brought up in.

[00:28:48] That sounds ignorant. But that was my train of thought until I dived into it a little bit deeper.

[00:28:58] And as I dived into it a little bit deeper, started to evaluate myself. Maybe there were

[00:29:05] areas in my life where could use their best. So it is not to be taken lightly.

[00:29:16] And as I said before, it could be work. It could be school. It could be family. It could even be

[00:29:24] church. A lot of people that are Christians, they stress their stuff out about the walk.

[00:29:31] I know I certainly was. I have to raise my hand on that one. I used to stress myself out

[00:29:38] about what all the things that I was doing, whether it pleased God or not. And when I stopped thinking

[00:29:46] in that train of mind, that frame of mind and started getting into his word for the love

[00:29:54] of the word to be a better person, stop stressing about pleasing God. When I realized

[00:30:04] that I was doing exactly what he told me to do in the first place, keep his word, keep his commandments.

[00:30:13] When I stopped worrying about my faith walk and if I had enough faith

[00:30:19] and punishing myself and beating myself up when my faith fell short,

[00:30:25] when I started realizing things like grace and mercy,

[00:30:31] when I started realizing that I could forgive somebody as well as myself 70 times 70.

[00:30:40] It made a whole big difference in my walk. When God brought people along

[00:30:48] that have walked this thing a long time to say, sure, I feel that. I didn't do that quite right.

[00:30:57] Oh yeah, that happened to me too. It helped me mentally know that I'm not a perfect Christian.

[00:31:06] I'll never be a perfect Christian and it's okay not to be okay sometimes. And it is okay

[00:31:13] to help for us for help whether your significant other wants it or not. You do what's best for you.

[00:31:24] If my Bible tells me to search out my own soul salvation and fear and in trembling,

[00:31:34] then I need to search out my mental health in that same fashion. It's not different.

[00:31:41] It's taking care of me that self love. We can exercise to have nice bodies, take great pics,

[00:31:51] put them on social media, but if our mental status is not right in our social circles,

[00:32:01] all the pretending in the world that you do all the beautiful features of your new body,

[00:32:13] new smile. It's not going to help much if mentally you're messed up.

[00:32:20] And that starts to mess with your heart as well.

[00:32:26] Sadness, grief, I certainly go through my moments of grief. I lost two of my best friends,

[00:32:35] my mom and my oldest sister, one of my oldest sisters. And I grieve every June, every July,

[00:32:46] every Mother's Day, and certainly every holiday, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas. Because

[00:32:55] that was the time that I spent with my mom the most days at a time, cooking together, talking on

[00:33:03] the telephone with friends and family, passing the phone between the both of us by both of us

[00:33:09] was in the kitchen, getting dinner hooked for the rest of the family to come over for that special day.

[00:33:18] So grief, it can mess with you mentally as well. I was thinking about that on Sunday,

[00:33:28] unless I began to clean out some pictures out of my phone, I ran across pictures in my one drive

[00:33:37] and had my sister and my mom there. One of the pictures I had taken of my mom in the hospital bed

[00:33:45] when they had taken all the stuff off her and said, you know, if you believe in God,

[00:33:54] talk to her. And she may hear you. But the only thing that kept her alive thus far

[00:34:02] was the machines and they unhooked them. And I took this snapshot of her because she looked so

[00:34:08] peaceful. And in my mind, we could see her in heaven. But today, in this time when I looked at

[00:34:19] the picture, I want to get rid of it. Because I don't want that to be the last memory of my mom

[00:34:28] when I have so many other beautiful pictures of her. Ultimately, I could not bring myself to

[00:34:35] delete it. So I'm still holding on to a little bit of baggage. Once I began to think about that

[00:34:44] before I started this episode. I said, self, you know what it is? It's probably the thought

[00:34:52] that you never got to say a final goodbye. I was living in New York when my mother

[00:35:00] passed away. And when I got the phone call, she had already been in the coma and never came out of it.

[00:35:09] I was just told to get home as soon as I could. I got home the next day. And they had already

[00:35:16] taken her off of the machine. So I didn't get a moan or groan, a hey baby. And I carried that around

[00:35:24] with me for a very long time. Up until just recently, I forgave myself because I was living life.

[00:35:38] And my mother would have expected me to live life when I stopped beating myself up mentally

[00:35:47] about so many things that I can't change in my life. I'm a better human being.

[00:35:55] So our mental health is important. Now, I could have brought this a whole different way. I could

[00:36:03] presented it a whole different way and fact checked and had a guest on. But I thought what better

[00:36:12] way to present it than just life lessons. We all adapted this saying last year, life be life.

[00:36:22] And yes, it does life be life. But at the end of the day, we have to take charge of the things

[00:36:32] that we can control and the things that we can't control. That's why we have professionals out there.

[00:36:40] And it's okay to see a professional. No matter what I was raised, I was raised in a Christian household.

[00:36:51] I was raised, raised, keep your business in your house. I was raised. Don't stay out of

[00:37:00] grown folk business, all of the colloquialisms. But ultimately, growing into the woman that I am now,

[00:37:13] hey, I thank God that my children did not let me put off on them what was instilled in me because

[00:37:22] they fought me all the way. And I thank God for that. Because it made me open up my eyes

[00:37:30] to the possibility of change when I wear concerns, mental health. And that maybe just maybe it was

[00:37:42] my turn to sit down and talk to a specialist so that I could be the best mother, the best wife,

[00:37:52] the best friend, the best business partner as human being that I could be. And I believe God

[00:38:00] would honor that not only will he honor it, it'll help me continue to grow with God and all things

[00:38:11] that I do. So I hope you guys enjoyed this little pop up today. Continue, continue to help someone

[00:38:22] recognize the triggers, the warning signs. And if you yourself are working on yourself,

[00:38:31] being the best version of you that you can be, it's okay not to make any new friends,

[00:38:39] especially if they're going to bring discord. And it's okay not to go around the old friends,

[00:38:47] especially if they're used to discord. You can't get better if you continue to hang around and do

[00:38:56] the things that you used to. And although sometimes it may get lonely, not having those

[00:39:05] people that we're so accustomed to having in our lives, we have to take care of ourselves.

[00:39:15] Thank you guys for listening. And we'll see you Monday, Wednesday and Fridays

[00:39:22] from morning inspirations at 1130 am only on YouTube.

[00:39:28] Only on YouTube. And if you want to catch the replay, hand on over to YouTube or 12 street

[00:39:38] talk back.com and watch it over there every Tuesday will be spotlighting our guest of the week that

[00:39:50] will be on our friends and families episode on Fridays. This week, we have a young lady coming up,

[00:39:59] Sandra Golden, author, a young mother should be in the building on Friday. And she'll be talking to us

[00:40:09] about her techniques, some of the techniques that she use as a young mother to raise her

[00:40:19] young children today and not effective. It was for her and their relationship.

[00:40:27] Peace and blessings to you all until next time. This podcast is a production of unfiltered studios.

[00:41:05] If you would like to know more about joining unfiltered studios, please visit our website

[00:41:09] at UNF pod.com for more information. Podcasting with unfiltered studios ready

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