Ever wonder what makes a friendship tick? You know, that special something that keeps you bonded through thick and thin? We all have those friends who just get us, the ones who can make us laugh until our sides hurt and who offer a shoulder to cry on when life throws us a curveball. But have you ever stopped to think about why these connections matter so much? Today on 12thstreettalkback, we're getting deep and delving into the power of friend support. We'll explore the different ways our friends lift us, the science behind these amazing bonds, and how to cultivate friendships that make life a whole lot brighter. So grab your besties, hit play, and let's talk about the magic of having people in your corner who truly get you.
[00:00.000 --> 00:29.920] What's going on guys? What's going on? Welcome back to 12th Street Talk back where transparency is our love language. I am your host, Victoria J. Welcome, welcome, welcome one and all. I hope everybody's feeling blessed on this beautiful, beautiful day that God has
[00:29.920 --> 00:51.000] made. Won't you rejoice and be glad in it with me? Guys, I'm trying to do something here on this live stream. So you guys have to give me a minute to do what I need to do. Give me a minute. Give me a minute. Anyway, I hope everybody's been
[00:51.000 --> 01:20.600] important to their self today. I have been pouring into myself greatly. Welcome to the show. If you are new to our show, listen, listen, listen, we are not new to this. We are true to this. You can catch our show over on Spotify, Apple Amazon, iHeartRadio, TuneIn, iTunes, Bullhorn, Potay, and a whole, whole, whole,
[01:20.600 --> 01:50.360] lot more. We do more than inspirations Monday, Wednesday, Friday over on our YouTube page. It is uploaded on our you listening platforms, Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, at least by one in the afternoon. So if you're interested in taking a walk through the Bible with me, why don't you tap in to 12th Street Talk back. I am your host, Victoria J. Let's jump into some things.
[01:50.600 --> 02:19.240] For those of you that called me on last Tuesday, me and my bestie were up here having our way with our shenanigans, Freedom Friday's Girl Chat. We made a pop up surprise visit to you guys last Tuesday. Thank you for the outpour of people that actually listened and tuned in to the show. Sometimes we may be live and where you can view our faces. And sometimes it may be audio only like today.
[02:19.960 --> 02:48.240] You know, sometimes your girl just do a little bit better, not being straight in front of the mic. And it's okay today. It is a podcast. Most people listen to podcasts besides actually look at them. So what's going on guys? What's going on? Have you been pouring and into yourself and loving yourself on this beautiful, beautiful day that God has blessed us in this Wednesday? Your girl been pouring into herself greatly, kicking off her new year.
[02:48.480 --> 03:03.600] With some new things in works, this live, you know, still continuing to do my regular podcast on all of the audio platforms being in my word. I have to tell you guys that journey right there.
[03:04.720 --> 03:16.480] Has been increasing and I love it. Love it. Love it. Um, I do want to stay in the middle of the road, as I say.
[03:17.200 --> 03:30.480] My faith is very very very important to me. And, you know, that is the main focus of the show. But every now and again, I might tap in like today with some things that's on my mind.
[03:30.800 --> 03:46.440] And this is the follow up. So what we talked about last week, the strong woman and how the strong woman, you know, sometimes we can get a little bit of a bad name or some people don't come in.
[03:46.480 --> 04:05.480] How does the Blake break? And it's not that we mean to be overbearing. We don't mean to be that I don't need no man type of woman, but we are strong in different areas and we like to be recognized for that, which brought me to another conversation that I was having with my bestie a couple
[04:05.480 --> 04:18.480] weeks ago, you know, your friends circle and we always chop it up about so many different things. And it got to got me to thinking about the people that's in my circle.
[04:19.480 --> 04:33.480] The circle of friends, which is very very small. And then the circle of associates and category arising people in those circles.
[04:33.480 --> 04:43.480] You know, we live in an atom now where you got to see what people are authentically made of.
[04:43.480 --> 04:53.480] Which brings me to, you know, what I was thinking about in my friendship circle, whether you be blood related because your siblings can be your friends too.
[04:54.480 --> 05:07.480] I know a lot of people that their friends are their besties of what have you. And, you know, for me, what I got to thinking about is having that support system.
[05:07.480 --> 05:21.480] And I started to take a look at my friend circle, which is very small. And that was one of the things that was very important to me, especially in my faith walk.
[05:21.480 --> 05:40.480] Because everybody is not going to support you in that area. I don't know why people are very standoffish, especially when you start talking about the name of Jesus and that you were Christian that kind of lump you in like, you know, here you go, the Bible
[05:40.480 --> 05:54.480] bumper, or you're going to try to push your views off on me. And that, for me, it kind of sucks sometimes when you tell people that you've turned your life over to Christ, because we go through the same things.
[05:54.480 --> 06:06.480] We're the same person. God has just created something new on the inside of us that makes us take a look at things a little different like this topic today.
[06:07.480 --> 06:16.480] You know, having people in your life that you're sure of being around people that you were sure that's going to support you.
[06:16.480 --> 06:30.480] And what that support looks like now support doesn't look the same for everyone. You know, take this show, for example, a lot of people in my community, they're not into podcasting.
[06:30.480 --> 06:49.480] Some people I actually introduce them to listen to a podcast show and they find it relaxing and enjoyable. Then I have some people that I'm with around all the time that even though they know that I have a show, they don't support.
[06:50.480 --> 07:00.480] They don't listen. And I can't hold that against them because they may be supporting in different ways, whether it's donating their time, donating their money.
[07:00.480 --> 07:12.480] And then you have those associate skies that you're not quite sure where to put them because you just don't know where their intentions are.
[07:12.480 --> 07:31.480] And sometimes your girl feels like she's barking down that road. But I have to tell you, with my walk with Christ, that deserning spirit, I'll let you know everything that you need to know in my immediate circle, in my associate circle.
[07:31.480 --> 07:40.480] Sometimes when we put place people in our life, sometimes it's for certain reasons.
[07:40.480 --> 07:53.480] There may be certain things that you enjoy doing together. Take for instance, you know, me and my bestie do Freedom Friday. Sometimes we chop it up about anything that comes to mind.
[07:53.480 --> 08:07.480] And then sometimes it's just nothing to say. And we understand that our relationship has been a 30 plus year relationship. There has been times where we haven't talked for a year or two, maybe three.
[08:07.480 --> 08:18.480] Here and there, a happy birthday, a Merry Christmas. But now that I'm out of work, she says she's always been a stay at home mother.
[08:18.480 --> 08:35.480] We talk more frequently than we used to. But when we had those gaps in the years, whenever we did pick up the phone, it was like, we never stopped talking like we had just talked yesterday.
[08:35.480 --> 08:47.480] And when you find that quality time, that support, or maybe just even that listening ear, you value that, because everyone does not give that support.
[08:47.480 --> 08:59.480] I was taking a listen as much as I could the last few weeks about everything that's going on in the celebrity world.
[08:59.480 --> 09:10.480] And I'm not going to pull any names out because I'll go on a rant and I'm trying to train my brain guys not to keep putting my mouth on certain things.
[09:10.480 --> 09:16.480] I did that with the whole Jada Pickett Smith thing.
[09:16.480 --> 09:28.480] And some people liked it and some people didn't take too kindly to it. However, with that being said, you know, with my wall, I think it's better not to say anything else.
[09:28.480 --> 09:39.480] You can say anything at all sometimes. And sometimes if that person is close to you, you can do it in a manner with grace.
[09:39.480 --> 09:44.480] You can be graceful in what you say and what you do.
[09:44.480 --> 09:52.480] When I thought about my friends circle, I started to think about the associate circle as well.
[09:52.480 --> 10:04.480] Some of the people that I just kind of want to move away from not at a point where, you know, I don't like them anymore, but we may not just have anything in common.
[10:04.480 --> 10:11.480] And there is, for me, no support in that circle.
[10:11.480 --> 10:18.480] And that's a hard thing to do because you also might have things in common with that person.
[10:18.480 --> 10:26.480] You may not be as close, but you have things in common, but sometimes everything in you guys life don't line up.
[10:26.480 --> 10:30.480] And I am on a new journey this season.
[10:30.480 --> 10:47.480] I wouldn't even say this year because 2024, you know, the change of the year really doesn't mean anything to me, especially if you find yourself still doing the same thing that you were doing the year before.
[10:47.480 --> 10:58.480] And for me, the areas in my life that I'm moving in, a lot of people, unfortunately, I can't take with me in those areas.
[10:58.480 --> 11:00.480] And it's not because I don't want to.
[11:00.480 --> 11:07.480] They perhaps may not be interested in doing a going where I'm going to go.
[11:07.480 --> 11:11.480] And you have to respect people's boundaries.
[11:11.480 --> 11:12.480] That's another thing.
[11:13.480 --> 11:16.480] And the associate group.
[11:16.480 --> 11:22.480] Some boundaries sometimes can get crossed in your group of associates.
[11:22.480 --> 11:27.480] It can get crossed in the group of friendships as well.
[11:27.480 --> 11:41.480] You know, because if you don't have that mutual understanding of what lawns you can and cannot cross, especially when you're having conversation and you're not mature enough.
[11:41.480 --> 11:48.480] Enough in your life to handle certain conversations, it can get a little sticky there.
[11:48.480 --> 11:51.480] And I know because I've been there.
[11:51.480 --> 11:58.480] My maturity level had to grow a lot in my late 30s and my 40s.
[11:58.480 --> 12:01.480] And I'm not ashamed to admit that.
[12:01.480 --> 12:10.480] And some of us, men and women, it takes us a while to get there in our maturity levels.
[12:11.480 --> 12:17.480] And sometimes you get to the point where your girl is at in her 50s.
[12:17.480 --> 12:21.480] And now I understand what my mother used to say.
[12:21.480 --> 12:25.480] You know, there are certain things I just don't have to take.
[12:25.480 --> 12:28.480] There are certain people I just don't have to be around.
[12:28.480 --> 12:31.480] I enjoy my peace too much.
[12:31.480 --> 12:35.480] I do understand what she meant by that now because your girl kind of feeling that way.
[12:35.480 --> 12:37.480] I'm enjoying my peace.
[12:37.480 --> 12:45.480] I'm enjoying my newfound relationship with my Heavenly Father and some of the stuff I'm just not interested in debating about.
[12:45.480 --> 12:47.480] I'm not interested in talking about.
[12:47.480 --> 12:50.480] I can't bring anything to the table.
[12:50.480 --> 12:53.480] And all it's going to do is aggravate me.
[12:53.480 --> 12:54.480] So what do you do in that?
[12:54.480 --> 13:02.480] You have to pull back so you don't offend anyone or allow anyone to offend you to invade your personal space.
[13:02.480 --> 13:14.480] I can talk about that as well because I know I can be a little pushy or have been a little pushy and invade other people's personal space and my friendships and my family.
[13:14.480 --> 13:25.480] And they have been courtesy enough not to tell me about myself, but you kind of know you kind of know when someone is being standoffish.
[13:25.480 --> 13:30.480] And it doesn't mean that they don't necessarily love you or like you.
[13:30.480 --> 13:38.480] It may mean that you may be just a little bit too much for them to take at that particular time.
[13:38.480 --> 13:44.480] But that's when you put your big girl's panties on as we like to say down here in the south.
[13:44.480 --> 13:52.480] And you chalk it up and not getting your feelings about it because everything doesn't have to be a debate.
[13:52.480 --> 13:56.480] And I said it before and I will say it again.
[13:56.480 --> 14:02.480] Some people really don't know how to agree to disagree.
[14:02.480 --> 14:11.480] They'll say it out of their mouths, but they don't really know how to agree to disagree.
[14:11.480 --> 14:15.480] When you agree to disagree, I may not like your point of view.
[14:15.480 --> 14:25.480] You may not like my point of view, but you can't push sure itself on me and not want to reciprocate the same treatment.
[14:25.480 --> 14:39.480] And that's where it gets sticky at in friendships or in your zone of or your category where you just don't know where to place these people just yet in your life.
[14:40.480 --> 14:42.480] I came up with this new thing though.
[14:42.480 --> 14:45.480] I'm vetting people that I meet.
[14:45.480 --> 14:58.480] And I say that because I am putting myself out here on my social media platforms and it requires involving yourself with different people.
[14:58.480 --> 15:07.480] But if my spirit is not aligned enough with yours, I've made a promise to myself that I'm not going to force it.
[15:08.480 --> 15:13.480] And I'm usually the type of person that give everybody the benefit of the doubt.
[15:13.480 --> 15:21.480] But if my spirit don't line up with yours and I'm not talking about disagreeing or having an argument or anything like that,
[15:21.480 --> 15:25.480] but you can just tell when you don't line up with someone.
[15:25.480 --> 15:36.480] And then some people just want to be in your life for whatever reason, maybe out of being at admirable.
[15:36.480 --> 15:39.480] You know, guys, you know, I can't talk.
[15:39.480 --> 15:54.480] Or maybe at the point where they just curious about what you're doing, that they're trying to get different information from you or see if you really are the person that you say that you are.
[15:54.480 --> 15:58.480] Especially when you put yourself out there in the public eye.
[15:58.480 --> 16:07.480] And I just, you know, in my vetting people, if you're going to be in my close knit circle, I don't need you to tear me down and build me back up.
[16:07.480 --> 16:13.480] And I think that happens a lot in our community, especially in our social media community.
[16:13.480 --> 16:17.480] Some people don't know where that fine line is.
[16:17.480 --> 16:20.480] They'll build you up just to tear you down.
[16:20.480 --> 16:24.480] And I believe that's what's going on in the celebrity world right now.
[16:24.480 --> 16:36.480] If you really want to be honest, we as people, we can put people on pedestals and we would glorify them and we would clap and all that gracious stuff that we do.
[16:36.480 --> 16:42.480] But let them do or say something that we don't agree with as people.
[16:42.480 --> 16:47.480] We can be quick to tear them down as well.
[16:47.480 --> 16:52.480] And that's the part that I'm trying to escape in my personal life.
[16:52.480 --> 16:54.480] Now, don't get it twisted.
[16:54.480 --> 17:00.480] Your girl know that you got to go through the bad just as well as the good.
[17:00.480 --> 17:07.480] But if you can kind of sidestep some of those roads, wouldn't you want to sidestep some of that mess?
[17:07.480 --> 17:10.480] Because you do get a certain age.
[17:10.480 --> 17:13.480] Like I said, I'm a seasoned woman.
[17:13.480 --> 17:18.480] It's a certain things that I just don't fit my fancy anymore.
[17:18.480 --> 17:23.480] And I can say that's growth from last year.
[17:23.480 --> 17:26.480] And not just because it's a new year.
[17:26.480 --> 17:29.480] I saw it all through last year.
[17:29.480 --> 17:31.480] It made me uncomfortable.
[17:31.480 --> 17:33.480] It had me scatterbrained.
[17:33.480 --> 17:42.480] But what I finally realized when I started to really sit down and rest in my emotions, in my feelings and in my thoughts.
[17:42.480 --> 17:48.480] I was forcing myself to be around certain people that I just didn't align with.
[17:48.480 --> 18:01.480] And in my trying to be nice or be supportive, I kept forcing myself to do things that didn't agree with my spirit.
[18:01.480 --> 18:06.480] And I'm happy today to say that I recognize that about myself.
[18:06.480 --> 18:08.480] I am happy about that.
[18:08.480 --> 18:10.480] That brings me great joy.
[18:10.480 --> 18:12.480] And I'm still working it out.
[18:12.480 --> 18:17.480] These last few weeks, I've really still been working it out.
[18:17.480 --> 18:20.480] Even with my faith wall.
[18:20.480 --> 18:27.480] There are certain people that I really don't care to be around anymore.
[18:27.480 --> 18:29.480] Because of my thinking.
[18:29.480 --> 18:33.480] My thinking is on another level.
[18:33.480 --> 18:36.480] And that's not an insult to anybody.
[18:36.480 --> 18:41.480] But the Bible does speak about being around the carnal-minded person.
[18:41.480 --> 18:45.480] And it also speaks about the people that you hang around.
[18:45.480 --> 18:48.480] The people that you have in your circle.
[18:48.480 --> 18:56.480] And if you want to look at it from a point of view of what our seasoned people used to say, you can look at it that way.
[18:56.480 --> 19:07.480] Everybody that you hang around ain't meant to be there the entire time and every season of your life.
[19:07.480 --> 19:11.480] When I started this podcast journey, I was hungry.
[19:11.480 --> 19:16.480] I was hungry to get my show out there because I felt like I had a message.
[19:16.480 --> 19:17.480] I wanted to help.
[19:17.480 --> 19:22.480] And I'm still in help mode in different areas.
[19:22.480 --> 19:26.480] I thought it was going to be one particular area.
[19:26.480 --> 19:29.480] Just to be able to give back to my community.
[19:29.480 --> 19:32.480] Learn what's really on my young people's mind.
[19:32.480 --> 19:35.480] Help my seniors in their community.
[19:35.480 --> 19:40.480] And I quickly found out in a year I could help in so many different areas.
[19:40.480 --> 19:43.480] Some of those areas I didn't even get to tap into.
[19:43.480 --> 19:46.480] And some of those areas I did.
[19:46.480 --> 19:49.480] But when I started to tap into the podcast community.
[19:49.480 --> 19:55.480] I met a lot of wonderful people that have a lot of wonderful shows.
[19:55.480 --> 19:57.480] Some of the jobs with my spirit.
[19:57.480 --> 20:00.480] Some of it doesn't job with my spirit.
[20:00.480 --> 20:05.480] But in the words of my bestie, you can't yuck anybody else's job.
[20:05.480 --> 20:12.480] But you can't force yourself to be a part of something that's not for you.
[20:12.480 --> 20:16.480] Or have people around you that's not for you.
[20:16.480 --> 20:18.480] You can support in other ways.
[20:18.480 --> 20:20.480] You can give a monetary donation.
[20:20.480 --> 20:23.480] You can tell a friend, a tell a friend.
[20:23.480 --> 20:28.480] You know, I think in this thing that we call the social media world.
[20:28.480 --> 20:32.480] Podcast and more content creating.
[20:32.480 --> 20:34.480] I think that's what we're lacking.
[20:34.480 --> 20:39.480] Everybody wants to get whatever they're doing in life.
[20:39.480 --> 20:42.480] They want somebody to support them.
[20:42.480 --> 20:47.480] And I think that we lack that a lot in our black and brown communities.
[20:47.480 --> 20:50.480] I can only speak as a black woman.
[20:50.480 --> 20:54.480] And what I see in my black and brown communities.
[20:54.480 --> 21:04.480] We're so busy not wanting to support someone else's show or someone else's business.
[21:04.480 --> 21:07.480] Like it's going to take away from what you're doing.
[21:07.480 --> 21:11.480] We're all striving to do the same thing.
[21:11.480 --> 21:12.480] I'm at the point in my life.
[21:12.480 --> 21:16.480] I don't think I want to associate myself around people like that.
[21:16.480 --> 21:24.480] If you can't help up lift me and I uplift you and support you in whatever you're doing.
[21:24.480 --> 21:30.480] What is the point of marking time as my seasoned people say?
[21:30.480 --> 21:32.480] You're just marking time.
[21:32.480 --> 21:40.480] You're wasting time putting it on that fake persona or that fake face
[21:40.480 --> 21:44.480] of really trying to be, especially if your heart is right.
[21:44.480 --> 21:46.480] And I feel like my heart is right.
[21:46.480 --> 21:49.480] I've always had a good heart.
[21:49.480 --> 21:53.480] But my heart is getting increasingly more loving.
[21:53.480 --> 21:58.480] And I just don't want to waste time blowing smoke up anybody's tail.
[21:58.480 --> 22:00.480] I'm just going to put it out there.
[22:00.480 --> 22:03.480] And I don't want you to do the same for me.
[22:04.480 --> 22:10.480] I want those people in my circle, whether it be friends or associates.
[22:10.480 --> 22:18.480] To be able to tell me when I'm wrong and I be able to receive their constructive criticism.
[22:18.480 --> 22:25.480] But you also got to be able to do that with grace and tack as well.
[22:25.480 --> 22:29.480] Because everybody don't receive people being just blunt.
[22:29.480 --> 22:32.480] And that's something that I had to learn.
[22:32.480 --> 22:37.480] I had no grace when I was talking to people.
[22:37.480 --> 22:40.480] And I'm still reeling that back in.
[22:40.480 --> 22:42.480] That grace part.
[22:42.480 --> 22:49.480] And every time I feel like I offended someone, I'm always quick to apologize.
[22:49.480 --> 22:54.480] In my immediate circle, outside of my immediate circle.
[22:54.480 --> 22:59.480] And sometimes it doesn't make you feel good as a person, especially if you know that you
[22:59.480 --> 23:02.480] haven't wronged that person.
[23:02.480 --> 23:11.480] But as I go on my faith walk, my Bible tells me to be quick to beg my person that I offended
[23:11.480 --> 23:15.480] part and be quick to ask for forgiveness.
[23:15.480 --> 23:21.480] Whether you're right or wrong, it also tells me to, you know, give them the other cheek.
[23:21.480 --> 23:27.480] I don't think I want to be slapped around like a Bible head though.
[23:27.480 --> 23:32.480] But I made the choice for this lifestyle change.
[23:32.480 --> 23:39.480] And obedience to my Heavenly Father is the most important thing that he honors and looks
[23:39.480 --> 23:40.480] at.
[23:40.480 --> 23:45.480] He looks at the heart, not just the stuff that's coming out of your mouth.
[23:45.480 --> 23:51.480] Which brings me again back to my friends and family circle.
[23:51.480 --> 23:54.480] Sometimes it irritates me with that too.
[23:54.480 --> 24:00.480] Watching people talk about how much they incorporate God in their world.
[24:00.480 --> 24:05.480] And then there's something else there, come out of their mouth that makes me think that
[24:05.480 --> 24:09.480] they don't really do what they're saying that they're doing.
[24:09.480 --> 24:12.480] And my Bible talks about that.
[24:12.480 --> 24:16.480] You're quick to praise me with your mouth, but your heart is far from me.
[24:16.480 --> 24:22.480] And at the bottom line is it is making a choice, making that lifestyle choice and sticking
[24:22.480 --> 24:25.480] with it and letting him be your everything.
[24:25.480 --> 24:31.480] And being around like mine and people and staying in your world and those are the circles that
[24:31.480 --> 24:39.480] your girl has found herself, you know, wanting to travel in a little bit more.
[24:39.480 --> 24:45.480] I've also considered just, you know, my show being strictly faith-based.
[24:45.480 --> 24:51.480] But I also feel like there are still conversations in the community that need to be had.
[24:51.480 --> 25:00.480] I think if we all just get down off our high horse and take a listen to which each group
[25:00.480 --> 25:11.480] or individual is actually trying to say, we can bridge that gap of communication amongst
[25:11.480 --> 25:12.480] our generations.
[25:12.480 --> 25:15.480] I started promoting that last year.
[25:15.480 --> 25:17.480] God gave that to me.
[25:17.480 --> 25:19.480] He gave that to me.
[25:19.480 --> 25:23.480] It wasn't about just bridging the gap in my community.
[25:23.480 --> 25:30.480] It was about bridging that communication gap amongst the generations.
[25:30.480 --> 25:36.480] Because as time has moved on in life, things have certainly changed.
[25:36.480 --> 25:44.480] I've been out of work two years and I'm still feeling my way around what I call this new
[25:44.480 --> 25:45.480] world.
[25:45.480 --> 25:47.480] I've worked so many hours.
[25:47.480 --> 25:52.480] I've worked, came home, went to sleep, grocery stopped or whatever on the weekend, ran in
[25:52.480 --> 25:53.480] and ran out.
[25:53.480 --> 25:54.480] You guys know how it is.
[25:54.480 --> 25:58.480] You want one day where you just sit at home and just relax.
[25:58.480 --> 26:03.480] So I really didn't pay attention to a lot of the stuff that was going on around me.
[26:03.480 --> 26:06.480] And the news is going to highlight the bad stuff.
[26:06.480 --> 26:10.480] But they're not going to tell you how to fix it.
[26:11.480 --> 26:16.480] So bridging that communication gap was very important to me and still is.
[26:16.480 --> 26:19.480] I haven't really found out how to tap into it.
[26:19.480 --> 26:23.480] But I've learned a lot from my podcast community.
[26:23.480 --> 26:28.480] Some of my younger brothers and sisters by listening to their show.
[26:28.480 --> 26:29.480] I've learned a lot.
[26:29.480 --> 26:32.480] Some I agree with, some I don't.
[26:32.480 --> 26:34.480] And that's just the era that I was in.
[26:34.480 --> 26:36.480] But I also think they are too.
[26:37.480 --> 26:42.480] They have to be open minded because I hear a lot of the young generation and I can speak
[26:42.480 --> 26:45.480] on this as well because I have younger adults.
[26:45.480 --> 26:48.480] They say you older generation just don't listen.
[26:48.480 --> 26:50.480] That may be true.
[26:50.480 --> 26:54.480] But you've got to listen to what we're saying as well.
[26:54.480 --> 27:00.480] You have to be open and minded about the era that we came up in.
[27:00.480 --> 27:05.480] Which brings me to another conversation that we're going to tap into.
[27:06.480 --> 27:07.480] On our morning inspirations.
[27:07.480 --> 27:12.480] We're going to have a special edition January the 21st on a Saturday.
[27:12.480 --> 27:18.480] And I have a pastor that I respect, not my pastor, but I respect him.
[27:18.480 --> 27:23.480] But I wanted him to come onto the show and have a conversation.
[27:23.480 --> 27:33.480] And the conversation was sparked because I said, you know, I'm listening and I'm taking a look
[27:33.480 --> 27:36.480] at everything that's going on in the world.
[27:36.480 --> 27:41.480] All of the changes and everything that we're doing in life.
[27:41.480 --> 27:47.480] And all I keep hearing is my younger community saying, y'all need to listen, y'all need to
[27:47.480 --> 27:51.480] learn our way is a different way is a different way.
[27:51.480 --> 27:57.480] And I said from a Christian standpoint, I feel some type of way about that sometimes
[27:57.480 --> 28:02.480] because I have to listen and learn your new way.
[28:02.480 --> 28:04.480] You know, always talking about the love of God.
[28:04.480 --> 28:08.480] And I can't get you to settle down for two minutes just to hear me out.
[28:08.480 --> 28:12.480] So that opened up a door for a whole conversation.
[28:12.480 --> 28:19.480] And we're going to have that conversation on January the 21st, a special edition of
[28:19.480 --> 28:21.480] morning inspirations.
[28:21.480 --> 28:26.480] But what I say and everything that I just said.
[28:26.480 --> 28:31.480] Take a look at your friend circle.
[28:31.480 --> 28:34.480] Put them in different categories.
[28:34.480 --> 28:40.480] I've had to start putting them in different compartments.
[28:40.480 --> 28:42.480] Not that I don't think that they love me.
[28:42.480 --> 28:48.480] I might be in an area in my life that's not jiving with them.
[28:48.480 --> 28:52.480] They might be in a place in their life that's not jiving for me.
[28:52.480 --> 28:57.480] And with my associates, I would say I'm not going to discount some that I have
[28:57.480 --> 28:59.480] love in my heart for.
[28:59.480 --> 29:05.480] And I think they serve a great purpose in where I'm at in my life.
[29:05.480 --> 29:09.480] I can learn, learn and love and grow with them.
[29:09.480 --> 29:18.480] But some, I'm going to stop trying to fit that square in that round hole.
[29:18.480 --> 29:21.480] And I'm not going to feel bad about it.
[29:21.480 --> 29:32.480] Because in my walk, not the 2020 24 walk coming out of 2023, just in my new walk.
[29:32.480 --> 29:39.480] You know, certain things just don't matter anymore.
[29:39.480 --> 29:42.480] And my heart as big as it is.
[29:42.480 --> 29:44.480] I still got to protect it.
[29:44.480 --> 29:49.480] I don't know who patent that thing that said just because you're a Christian.
[29:49.480 --> 29:52.480] You got to take everybody's crap because you don't.
[29:52.480 --> 29:54.480] You're still a human.
[29:54.480 --> 29:56.480] Your flesh did not get saved.
[29:56.480 --> 30:02.480] You invited God into your life into your heart so that he could etch the words of his
[30:02.480 --> 30:04.480] daily bread across the tables of your heart.
[30:04.480 --> 30:06.480] Create a new thing in you.
[30:06.480 --> 30:10.480] Make you look at the world differently.
[30:10.480 --> 30:15.480] And to show you where you're wrong and where you can clean it up and be a better
[30:15.480 --> 30:16.480] example to people.
[30:17.480 --> 30:21.480] Now everybody's not going to get that in a world full of buildings of people.
[30:21.480 --> 30:26.480] Everybody's out to get what they can get and take what they can take.
[30:26.480 --> 30:28.480] Some people give back.
[30:28.480 --> 30:31.480] Some people are takers.
[30:31.480 --> 30:39.480] When you find those people in your circle that just take, take, take like I once was
[30:39.480 --> 30:42.480] way before I started to work on myself.
[30:43.480 --> 30:44.480] I was a taker.
[30:44.480 --> 30:47.480] I took, took, took and never gave anything back.
[30:47.480 --> 30:50.480] This is my season of giving back.
[30:50.480 --> 30:55.480] I've been doing that for the last three or so years.
[30:55.480 --> 31:02.480] Coming across people in my past that I took from and trying to give back.
[31:02.480 --> 31:07.480] Now, if they receive it, that's up to them, but you can't push.
[31:07.480 --> 31:08.480] You can't push.
[31:08.480 --> 31:10.480] You can't push your way on someone.
[31:10.480 --> 31:15.480] You can't push the way you feel on someone or possibly your way of thinking.
[31:15.480 --> 31:19.480] And some people just going to say, you know what, I'm still waiting for the other
[31:19.480 --> 31:23.480] shoes to drop and let that be on them.
[31:23.480 --> 31:26.480] But clean up your circle.
[31:26.480 --> 31:27.480] Clean up your circle.
[31:27.480 --> 31:33.480] Put people in categories because you may have that friend that's your shopping
[31:33.480 --> 31:34.480] buddy.
[31:34.480 --> 31:39.480] You may have that friend that you can talk to for hours and look up and you
[31:39.480 --> 31:43.480] start talking that one o'clock that afternoon and it's six o'clock at night.
[31:43.480 --> 31:48.480] And you may have that friend that knows somebody that knows somebody that can help
[31:48.480 --> 31:52.480] you in a certain situation whether it's getting your car fixed or not.
[31:52.480 --> 31:56.480] Whatever the case may be.
[31:56.480 --> 32:01.480] I did learn and I think my bestie tapped on this a couple times.
[32:01.480 --> 32:07.480] You got to know where to categorize people at.
[32:07.480 --> 32:12.480] And it really didn't dawn on me truly.
[32:12.480 --> 32:15.480] And to God started to change my heart.
[32:15.480 --> 32:19.480] Some people have accepted the new Victoria.
[32:19.480 --> 32:21.480] Some people have it.
[32:21.480 --> 32:24.480] When I first started this walk.
[32:24.480 --> 32:29.480] I'm worried about the acceptance of people.
[32:29.480 --> 32:34.480] But I'm glad to say today that God has removed that from me.
[32:34.480 --> 32:37.480] I don't really worry about the acceptance.
[32:37.480 --> 32:46.480] But what does still bother my brain is do unto others as you have them do unto you.
[32:46.480 --> 32:53.480] Don't take your bad day out on me because you can't say it to the other person
[32:53.480 --> 32:56.480] that hurt you.
[32:56.480 --> 32:58.480] Don't do me like that.
[32:58.480 --> 33:03.480] If I support you, I've been looking for a little bit support that maybe not
[33:03.480 --> 33:08.480] in everything that I do.
[33:08.480 --> 33:18.480] But I'm looking for a little bit of that support that I gave to you.
[33:18.480 --> 33:26.480] So with that being said, guys, I was supposed to have a guest on to do this.
[33:26.480 --> 33:32.480] But I also said, you know, this is a friends and family show.
[33:32.480 --> 33:38.480] I didn't move over to stream yard just to talk.
[33:38.480 --> 33:42.480] So you can ask to come to the stage.
[33:42.480 --> 33:47.480] The web site is pinned in the comments.
[33:47.480 --> 33:53.480] If you want to come on stage, you click on the WTTP,
[33:53.480 --> 33:56.480] ask the whatever the link.
[33:56.480 --> 33:58.480] Y'all know I don't get it right.
[33:58.480 --> 34:02.480] But people that listen on a regular basis, they know I can't talk.
[34:02.480 --> 34:08.480] But you can click on that link and request to come on stage and you can join the conversation.
[34:08.480 --> 34:10.480] You don't have to come on live.
[34:10.480 --> 34:14.480] You can put your profile up.
[34:14.480 --> 34:19.480] But it's a conversation for friends and family because getting out into my community
[34:19.480 --> 34:25.480] and understanding what's going on in my community, I do want to understand.
[34:25.480 --> 34:30.480] And I may not agree with all the different changes, whether you're in the younger community
[34:30.480 --> 34:33.480] or the older community.
[34:33.480 --> 34:37.480] But I do want to have some type of understanding and I'm not going to stand by
[34:37.480 --> 34:40.480] and yuck your yum and be judgmental.
[34:40.480 --> 34:44.480] But I'm expecting the same thing for me as well.
[34:44.480 --> 34:52.480] I am expecting for you to respect my views as well.
[34:52.480 --> 35:00.480] Looking into our friends circle sometimes, it requires taking a deep look.
[35:00.480 --> 35:05.480] Many of you that follow me know that I said I let go of a friendship was 30 plus years
[35:05.480 --> 35:09.480] and I see this person on a daily basis.
[35:09.480 --> 35:14.480] We speak because we're mature enough to speak to each other.
[35:14.480 --> 35:19.480] And sometimes I find myself missing that conversation.
[35:20.480 --> 35:27.480] But I know the part of me when I start to think about the stuff that I didn't like
[35:27.480 --> 35:32.480] that was rubbing off on me or rubbing me the wrong way.
[35:32.480 --> 35:40.480] I rethink perhaps stopping and saying more than a hollow because it disturbed my world.
[35:40.480 --> 35:48.480] And I said all that to say sometimes we may know people for years and have outgrown them.
[35:48.480 --> 35:50.480] And it is what it is.
[35:50.480 --> 35:58.480] And it's sad, but you'll find something or someone to come along and replace that.
[35:58.480 --> 36:04.480] And maybe that might be some time for you to just be in with yourself.
[36:04.480 --> 36:06.480] You just never know.
[36:06.480 --> 36:09.480] You never know.
[36:09.480 --> 36:12.480] As they say life be life.
[36:12.480 --> 36:18.480] But 2024 or any season in your life, especially if you're making some changes.
[36:18.480 --> 36:21.480] I know a lot of people are saying 2024.
[36:21.480 --> 36:26.480] I have an action or my action word is action.
[36:26.480 --> 36:29.480] And that's something that God placed in my spirit.
[36:29.480 --> 36:34.480] Victoria, I want you to be bold for me.
[36:34.480 --> 36:37.480] And I plan on doing that.
[36:37.480 --> 36:40.480] I want you to be an action for my Heavenly Father.
[36:40.480 --> 36:43.480] Being bold and what I do and say.
[36:43.480 --> 36:44.480] Not pushy.
[36:44.480 --> 36:46.480] There's a difference.
[36:46.480 --> 36:49.480] But being bold and standing on his word.
[36:49.480 --> 36:52.480] A lot of people said 2024.
[36:52.480 --> 36:53.480] I'm going to do this.
[36:53.480 --> 36:54.480] I'm going to change this.
[36:54.480 --> 36:55.480] I'm going to do this.
[36:55.480 --> 36:56.480] I'm going to do better.
[36:56.480 --> 36:59.480] How about just when you start that new thing.
[36:59.480 --> 37:04.480] Just continue without the turn of a year.
[37:04.480 --> 37:08.480] Do we really follow through with it?
[37:08.480 --> 37:12.480] In your friendship circle.
[37:12.480 --> 37:15.480] Look deep in your friendship circles.
[37:15.480 --> 37:18.480] You're associate circles.
[37:18.480 --> 37:19.480] And see.
[37:19.480 --> 37:22.480] What are you getting out of it?
[37:22.480 --> 37:24.480] Do they halfway feel your cup up?
[37:24.480 --> 37:27.480] Do they feel your cup up when you need them?
[37:27.480 --> 37:33.480] Or is it somebody you just know for a very, very long time that it works?
[37:33.480 --> 37:37.480] That it will break your heart to get rid of.
[37:37.480 --> 37:43.480] And then turn that mirror on your friend.
[37:43.480 --> 37:45.480] Turn that mirror on your friend.
[37:45.480 --> 37:47.480] The same mirror that you're looking in.
[37:47.480 --> 37:52.480] Turn it on your friend or that associate.
[37:52.480 --> 37:54.480] And start to really evaluate.
[37:54.480 --> 37:58.480] What are they actually bringing from the to the table?
[37:58.480 --> 38:02.480] Or are they just taking off of the table every chance they get?
[38:03.480 --> 38:05.480] And it is heartbreaking.
[38:05.480 --> 38:11.480] It is heartbreaking to get rid of friendships.
[38:11.480 --> 38:14.480] Sometimes friendships are like husband and wives.
[38:14.480 --> 38:19.480] You know that you guys are not equally out.
[38:19.480 --> 38:22.480] But you still try to push through anyway.
[38:22.480 --> 38:27.480] And after a while, as one of my friends have told me,
[38:27.480 --> 38:30.480] not my girl misery, guys.
[38:30.480 --> 38:33.480] But I had a friend that was a male.
[38:33.480 --> 38:43.480] And before I was homeless, for those of you know, I was homeless once upon a time of my life.
[38:43.480 --> 38:48.480] He told me before my breakdown, he said, Victoria,
[38:48.480 --> 38:51.480] you keep shoving so much stuff in your closet.
[38:51.480 --> 38:56.480] One day the door is going to just open and everything is going to come out
[38:56.480 --> 38:59.480] and you're going to have a breakdown.
[38:59.480 --> 39:02.480] And it did too.
[39:02.480 --> 39:06.480] And I did have a mini breakdown.
[39:06.480 --> 39:12.480] But I'm so stubborn and I thought I was so strong-willed that I could handle everything.
[39:12.480 --> 39:15.480] And I did to a degree.
[39:15.480 --> 39:20.480] But for me, my therapy was I just turned it off over to God.
[39:20.480 --> 39:25.480] And once I turned it all over to him and allowed myself to take that moment
[39:25.480 --> 39:31.480] to go to that park or sit in my car and just scream or cry it out,
[39:31.480 --> 39:34.480] I was able to say, you know what?
[39:34.480 --> 39:37.480] This too shall pass.
[39:37.480 --> 39:39.480] And I woke up today.
[39:39.480 --> 39:41.480] So God has another plan for me.
[39:41.480 --> 39:46.480] So it looks bad today, but it may not be bad tomorrow.
[39:46.480 --> 39:54.480] And I still do that now, even with me being happy and chipper and talking about guys were,
[39:54.480 --> 39:56.480] that's my happy place.
[39:56.480 --> 39:59.480] When I'm in his word, that's my happy place.
[39:59.480 --> 40:01.480] But nobody can stay in his word 24-7.
[40:01.480 --> 40:03.480] And life goes on.
[40:03.480 --> 40:05.480] As they say, life be life.
[40:05.480 --> 40:13.480] So when you do start to go through things, whether it be in your mind or in your life,
[40:13.480 --> 40:15.480] you have to encourage yourself.
[40:15.480 --> 40:17.480] David said it in his word.
[40:17.480 --> 40:19.480] I had to encourage myself and the Lord.
[40:19.480 --> 40:22.480] I feel the same thing about us as people.
[40:22.480 --> 40:26.480] We have to stop looking for other people to validate us and encourage us.
[40:26.480 --> 40:29.480] And sometimes we got to encourage ourselves.
[40:29.480 --> 40:37.480] And I know that sounds kind of contradictory when I said I'm evaluating people or vetting people.
[40:37.480 --> 40:40.480] It does not mean that I don't want friends.
[40:40.480 --> 40:47.480] And it does not mean I don't want that circle of I haven't really put them in a category.
[40:48.480 --> 40:53.480] But they may not always be available for me during my rough time.
[40:53.480 --> 40:57.480] Or even in my happy times to share some good news.
[40:57.480 --> 40:59.480] And I have to be able to be strong enough.
[40:59.480 --> 41:05.480] My cup has to be full enough to encourage myself.
[41:05.480 --> 41:08.480] But don't be anybody's doormat.
[41:08.480 --> 41:13.480] And if you have a big heart and you have the love of God on the inside of you,
[41:13.480 --> 41:16.480] still don't be anybody's doormat.
[41:17.480 --> 41:20.480] God did say in his word if they don't receive you.
[41:20.480 --> 41:22.480] Shake the dust off and keep moving.
[41:22.480 --> 41:28.480] He was talking about the word, but I take it implied to my life as well.
[41:28.480 --> 41:32.480] Well, that guys, I hope you enjoyed the show.
[41:32.480 --> 41:38.480] And by all means, the next time we come up live and you want to come on to the stage,
[41:38.480 --> 41:42.480] go ahead and hit that link and we'll be happy to have you up.
[41:42.480 --> 41:44.480] Peace and blessings to you all.
[41:44.480 --> 41:46.480] Until next time.
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